Congrats Joe Tait on 3,000 games with the Cavs

Just a quick congratulations to Joe Tait, the radio announcer for the Cleveland Cavaliers on 1100 AM WTAM. Tonight he has called his 3,000th game with the Cleveland Cavaliers. Though it was a losing effort, it was a great game versus the New Orleans Hornets who won their 49th game of the season and are currently in first place in the Western Conference.

Tait is a surefire Hall of Famer who has been with the Cavs on and off from their inaugural year in the league through the 1982-83 season and then every year from then to now. I believe he also calls football games for Division III football powerhouse and big rival of my alma mater, Mount Union College. If you haven't had the pleasure of listening to a Cavs broadcast on the radio to hear Joe call a game, then the next time you're in the Cleveland area try to tune in. Not to sound like a d-sack or anything, but he really does a good job.

David West won the game with 0:00.6 seconds left on the clock. Lebron James gave the Cavaliers the lead with 6.8 seconds left in the game with a great drive to the iron and strong finish. However, Chris Paul's (the best PG in the league, no questions asked) performance was too much finishing with 15 and 20. Anyway, congrats again Joe and "hhhave a goooooood night evvvvvverybody".

Why Do They Insist on Playing Basketball During Football Season?

This happened last night. There were a few blurbs about it on ESPN, but other than that, it was pretty low key in terms of hype...which leads me to this question. Why on earth does the NBA insist on starting their regular season so early?

Football is king. In terms of ratings and coverage on sports networks, it's second to none, and it really isn't even close. Even when the football season is months and months away, NFL news still infiltrates the media shitstorm because that's what people care about.

When the NFL season is over, yea, then basketball is the main feature (since hockey shit the bed) but really, the length of the NBA season is ridiculous even when compared to the MLB season. Starting in October? Come on, Golf gets better ratings. Now is the time when basketball should be starting off, I know it's completely unrealistic but I don't care. We have the bowl layoff in college football and the NFL is about to close out the regular season so we need another avenue of sports entertainment...BINGO. The NBA season.

Why do NBA players only play 3 times per week? That makes no sense. Yea, it's a physical game, but it's not like these guys need that much time off. In the current NBA landscape, outside of Utah, San Antonio and Detroit, there are no 'plays.' Why spend time practicing when you can just go out and play? It's ridiculous. Remember the days when the playoffs used to have games on consecutive nights? Were the players tired then? Jesus Christ, these guys are some of the best conditioned athletes in the world (Shaq, Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph...you're not included), you mean to tell me that playing an extra game per week would kill them?

The only people who give a shit about the NBA right now are the diehards. Sure, when the NFL season is over I devote my entire attention to the NBA, but right now? I could care less, except for fantasy that is... The playoff field is so wide, it really dilutes the whole regular season. Why try hard when a sub-.500 record will get you in? Maybe if they cut down the field that would help solve some of the problems, but right now, it's a mess. Do we really need 8 teams from each conference? Sure you get a Golden State scenario every now and then, but that's hardly the norm. Look at baseball's playoffs, they're arguably the most dramatic postseason event in professional sports and why? Because the field is limited to the teams that truly deserve to be there. Look at all the sweeps last year in the first round of the NBA playoffs...real exciting there guys.

Eh, whatever, I'll probably get made fun of by a certain collaborator who gets a hard-on from roundball, but to be honest, I'd rather watch Silly Season golf than watch November basketball. Nothing is better than watching a bunch of mistakes and watching certain guys try and get back into shape. Fun stuff.

PS: LeBron is better than Kobe, and yes, I watched the entire game (while flipping back between 2007 US Open highlights on the golf channel).

Personal Letter to Danny Ferry

Dan,

Listen buddy, we know you kinda had a forced hand in some of your initial personnel moves. We understand that you had to do SOMETHING. Personally, I even understand the decision to throw cash at Larry Hughes...well...ok, I'll give you that. You know, when you started pulling the trigger, they all seemed like solid moves. I can give you a pass on all of them on one condition.

GET JASON KIDD IN A CAVALIERS UNIFORM IN THE NEXT 2 WEEKS.

You're staring into the eye of a hurricane here broseph. You have a mega-super-duperstar on your team full of jokers. You have THE model for what your team most desparately needs on another team trying to bitch his way off. PLUS, said discontent star is good friends with your mega-super-duperstar and both would mesh together seamlessly. Dude, this is too good of an opportunity to fuck up.

Yea, you're hands are tied a little bit. You don't really have much cap space OR valuable players/contracts. Take a look at this lil' scenario though... Sure, you're giving up a ton of valuable players who are currently contributing. Gooden would be a big blow, but softened by Sean Williams' ridiculous nasty streak and upisde...definately taking a flier. You'd lose out on Hughes and Shannon Brown, but seeing as they don't play (in Brown's case...I'm not sure why) you can shoulder the loss.

Boobie...man, that one would hurt. Who doesn't love Boobie? HIS FUCKING NAME IS BOOBIE GOD DAMNIT. I'd be losing out on a neighbor (that's right, I live in the same development as he does...never see him, and if I did, all I'd do was ask him if he wants to take some bong rips) and a potentially good player, but you'd have to make this trade Danny.

The Lakers fucked up last year. Bynum for Kidd essentially? Who wouldn't make that trade? Oh, Mitch Kupchak. Retard...Anyways, scenraios like this force you to assess your personal risk tolerance and evaluate your short-term profits against your long-term potential. Yea, Boobie could turn out to be amazing (I see his ceiling as a notch below All-Star caliber, a solid performer, but not an elite player) and he'll definately be around longer than Kidd for a lot more of a managable fee.

But Kidd is a Hall of Famer. How long can he be productive? About as long as Clevelander's will be sweating out LeBron's contract situation. What better way to entice the Savior to stay than by alleviating his demands? Get LeBron a genuine talent, espeically one of Kidd's skill set, and you have yourself two hungry superstars who both will die in order to get a championship. Is that scenario worth Boobie Gibson and Drew Gooden? I'd be willing to make it. Throw in your 2009 first round pick to sweeten the pot and who knows? The Nets might be willing to take on all that youth in order to exponge the expensive aging talent and to add cheap productivity to incur some of the shit resulting from Vince Carter's inexplicable contract.

Danny, do this for the fans. Do it for LeBron. Do it to win a championship, or for your own ego, or to solidify your reputation. Make the Cavaliers a challenger to the elite, a genuine Finals contender. Whatever your motive, just make it happen.

Hugs and Kisses XXXOOO

Hugh McSnatchercraft

Wild Thing Returns to Cleveland

No, I'm not talking about Ricky Vaughan. I'm talking about Anderson Varejao. He agreed to terms with the Charlotte Bobcats, but since he is a restricted free-agent the Cavs can and will match the agreement. According to ESPN Insider the Cavs already have their 15 man roster full, meaning that when they match that offer they would need to cut someone. Instead of doing that, they apparently are exploring possible trade scenario's to maintain their pay roll and roster.

I'm not sold on Varejao's happiness in C-Town. I know contract holdouts turn personal fast, but lets be honest dude you're a role player. He has said publicly that he wanted to be traded and the contract that he agreed to with Charlotte has an opt out clause after the 2nd of 3 years. But as Insider pointed out that if Varejao does opt out in 2009, that is the same year that the contracts of Drew Gooden, Damon Jones, Donyell Marshall, and Eric Slow come off the books.

Varejao does provide a great spark to the team in some crucial situations, but I'm just a little curious as to whether or not that is going to continue or not. No one really knows how much of a diva Anderson really is. Who knows how excited he'll be about the Cavs matching that offer. I hope he can be a professional about it and just go out and do what he does best: grab that orange and squeeze it baby.

As I said before, he is a role player. And giving a role player a contract valued upwards of $52 million would have given the players of the NBA all the leverage they need to command outrageous and unworthy contracts. The Cavs won a great battle in free agency this off season and season. Had his original request been granted by any team, chaos would have ensued next summer in free agency. That'd be like giving Scott Pollard a 5 year $45 million contract. To quote the wise Larry the Cable Guy: "That's like wiping before you poop, it just don't make sense."

While I'm on the topic of the Cavs has anyone noticed that beastly beard that Drew Gooden has been sporting? That is a man's beard. I'm truly jealous. Apparently he has some bet going with the Wizard's DeShawn Stevenson for who can go the longest without shaving. Hasn't anyone learned yet? Drew Gooden will step up to the plate on any bet involving some sort of awkward hair growth. He did the neck beard last year, now the normal beard this year. We need a nick name for Drew Gooden. Kinda like how Deadspin dubbed Derek Anderson (quarterback for the Browns if you've been in unconscious since September) "Horse Balls". And speaking of Deadsping and Horse Balls, one of my buddies I work with happened to purchase the HORSE BALLS t-shirt.

I need to vent a little anyway about these Cavs. I know LeBron is the King and all, but how is this team that bad when he doesn't dress? They don't seem to have these problems when he gets his usual in game rests. No one seems to want to step up to the plate and lead this team. I wish someone would though. Why not someone like Damon Jones? He wants a trade, so what better way to get yourself in a good situation than turing into a locker room and on court leader for a team. If he can start to get his shot to fall again, then he has the personality to be a leader. I mean I don't care who steps up, just someone needs to. Mike Brown needs to get in the face of his team and get them to realize that they are putting way too much on the broad shoulders of LeBron James. And the addition of a role player in Varejao is not going to solve many problems. I will except no excuses for finishing .500 for the season after winning the Eastern Conference. I know a 42-42 team will make the playoffs at an 8 seed, but is that really where you are aiming Danny Ferry and Mike Brown?

The time to right the ship is now, with LeBron on the bench. If you can do that, you will get more out of your guys that you can ever have imagined. Think of the confidence that LeBron would have in his teammates when he comes back from injury if they can prove to the league that they aren't the JV team and LeBron is the Varsity team. I'm challenging Mike Brown right now to get this team headed in the right direction before LeBron comes back. Their best game without the King came on Sunday afternoon vs the new favorite out of the East in the Celtics. Step up and get the job done. I'm not asking to win every game, but just to put together a performance that you are proud of and continue to get better. Isn't that the goal anyway?

NASCAR and Brad Daugherty

I grew up a Cleveland Cavalier fan. I remain a Cleveland Cavalier fan. Throughout our storied history of getting beaten by MJ, the core of that team is held in the higest regard reserved for almost-winners like Bernie Kosar and the mid-90's Indians. The Cavs were led by the East's version of Stockton to Malone, Mark Price feeding it down low to Brad Daugherty. It was a highly successful combination that pushed MJ in his first prime to almost Pistonian levels, well not really, but we didn't suck too bad against him. Probably would have won an NBA championship if he didn't exist. But he did, so it sucks.

Anyways, I'm watching ESPN yesterday and who do I see? Brad Daugherty. Talking about NASCAR. I'm sure everyone has seen this, but seriously, im completely befuddled and let down at the same time. It's just too crazy and too disappointing.

Lets put this in perspective. Who better to be a NASCAR analyst than a 7 foot black man? Really trying to connect with the target audience aren't you ESPN? Just thinking of a GED graduate alcaholic in Alabama watching NASCAR Now with half a can of Skoal in his lip nodding in approval with Brad's expert authority makes me laugh. Honestly, it's not as if he's unqualified. And that's the disappointing part.

I was a huge BD fan back in the day. But I'm also as northern as snow. I spent 2 years in Texas and it opened my eyes to how stupid Southern people really are. Seriously, this sport is more popular than the NBA and MLB? What the hell? I find that disgusting and horribly wrong, not because it isn't cool, but because I don't know a single northerner who wakes up and says to themselves, "Shit, today Jr. is hittin' Talledega." The only answer is that every Southerner watches NASCAR. Which means every Southerner is stupid.

You have to be dumb to watch a bunch of cars go in a circle for 5 hours. That's exactly what it is. Crashes are cool, but not cool enough to sit there for 2 hours hoping for some fireworks. I guess you have to be born into it or something but it's just so goddamned retarded. Which is why when I see BD talking about NASCAR I feel like I'm watching a hero expose a fatal character flaw. Then comes the kicker. I used have a blue BD jersey that I wore all the time when I was like 6. That shit was my skin, son. Then I hear that the only reason he was 43 was in honor of Kyle motherfuckin' Petty, I damn near vomited.

It's not that I have anything against NASCAR, it's just that I've become condiditoned to vomit everytime I see it on television. I watch ESPN for sports (and baseball, mwahahah bad joke). NASCAR is not a sport. NASCAR is a car, that goes fast. You're not an athlete if you're a NASCAR driver. Sure it takes endurance to sit on your ass for 4 hours and turn the wheel left but that doesn't make you an athlete. If they were all running, itd be a sport. But they aren't. They're driving. That's it. Sure the technology is cool, but its a contest to see who has the coolest, fastest ride, not who's the best athlete. So whenever ESPN tries to convince me of its awesomeness, I get sick.

I love ESPN. Not all the shows, but the fact that I can get sports in my veins whenever I turn on my television. And when I see shit like NASCAR and the WSOP, I feel like my drug has been taken from me. Try taking crack away from a crackhead. There you go. And because one of my childhood heroes is involved, it hurts just that much more.