Friday, October 19, 2007

Thursday Night, er, Friday Afternoon, It's Still 420 (at work, again), NFL Picks of the Week

No Browns this week so my record should improve. Oh yea, i went 100% last week, I just didn't share my picks. Na, I'm lying. I've been immersed in the baseball playoffs for the last 3 weeks and couldn't be happier. Does anyone care if I missed a week? Well then fuck off. Anyways, onto the picks...

Arizona vs. Washington (-8.5): Should be an easy win at home for Washington seeing as Tim Rattay is starting...on the road...for the Arizona Cardinals...against one of the better defenses in the NFL...Tim Rattay...there you go.

Atlanta vs. NO (-8): Atlanta sucks on defense, offense and special teams. NO sucks on defense. God the NFC South is just atrocious. Football is great, don't get me wrong, but there aer certain divisions that just don't belong in professional sports due to aesthetic crimes. Both these teams qualify: ugly unis, ugly domes, ugly style of football...Half the NFC should just be contracted. When I'm commish that's my first order of business. Fuck the NFC South and West. And I'm keeping the 49ers but getting rid of the Vikings. Adrian Peterson will be placed on the Browns. I can't wait for this to happen. Goodell dies and the comittee is sitting around and they say to themselves, "hey, lets get that stoner kid from Cleveland, he sure might know his shit." Fuck yea.


Baltimore (-3) vs. Buffalo: Wow, this whole Buffalo to Toronto thing gained steam real fucking quickly and with good reason. Buffalo doesn't deserve the Bills anymore. It's too small a town and the players hate it there. Sure the franchise has history, but really, when you're claim to fame is OJ and 4 straight Super Bowl losses, is it really that big of a loss? Plus Toronto is only 2 hours away. Granted the Browns are in a similar sitution geographically, yet the Browns have an owner who is willing to spend and the town puts money into the franchise, the same cannot be said about Buffalo. Plus the team sucks. (If the Bills went back to the their GORGEOUS throwbacks, all bets are off.)


New England (-16) vs. Miami: Hahahahahahahaha. The spread could be -30 and I'd still take the Pats.


SF (+9) vs. NYG: I like the Giants to win, but just don't see them giving the points. This was a tossup.


TB vs. Detroit (-2): Rod Marinelli should have a good enough grasp of Tampa's defense to do some damage. I think this will be a good game, real close, just don't see Tampa pulling it out on the road. Plus I'm rooting hard for Calvin Johnson to do something for my fantasy team. Granted he's been injured, but if you could re-do the draft, do you think there's any way in hell they take him again? Fuck no, not with Joe Thomas and Adrian Peterson looking the way they do and an argument could even be made for taking Brady Quinn or Patrick Willis instead of Johnson. I dunno, it's way too early to call him a bust, but given what you know now, how could you pass on Peterson or Thomas?


Tennessee (-1) vs. Houston: Are you kidding me? Vince Young will never lose to Houston for his career.


KC (+3) vs. Oakland: How many yards did Oakland give up to LT last week? Who do they face this week? Oh yea, a pissed off Larry Johnson who's quickly gaining momentum now that Dwayne Bowe has taken some of the pressure off the running game. I can't see Oakland winning this 9 times out of 10.


NYJ vs. Cincy (-7): This is going to be ugly. Cincy is pissed off, and they have the talent on the offensive side to really get going. Remember halfway through last year when all of the sudden Carson and Ocho just went nuts? Oh yea, it was around this point in the season facing a weak defense. God the Jets are absolutely terrible. How the hell did they make the playoffs last year? Helps when you play Miami and Buffalo twice per year, but this team just looks fucking awful. Mangini is a dickhead hypocrite and it feels great to see him get crushed. J-E-T-S JETS JETS SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!


Minnesota vs. Dallas (-9.5): Simple math...worst pass defense in the league facing one of the best who are, running with my theme, pissed off after getting waxed and are going to light up the scoreboard. I don't see Adrian Peterson having a great day with fellow Sooner Roy Williams hitting him in the mouth every chance he gets. I could get proven totally wrong, but I just don't like Minny's chances.


Chicago vs. Philly (-5.5): I really can't stand either of these teams. I'm taking Philly because I've been watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and that show is the tits.


St. Louis (+8.5) vs. Seattle: I really hate Seattle. They are easily one of the worst teams in the league. Terribly coached, Shaun Alexander couldn't run if they paid him (and they are paying him, quite handsomely may I add), and what the hell happened to the rest of the line? Walter Jones is trying his best, but has lost a little, but Hasselbeck doesn't look like he stands a chance. I feel bad for the guy because he's a good NFL QB stuck with a walrus coach and a running back who avoids contact at every turn...have fun in salary cap hell Seahawks. Plus the Rams have to get off the schneid at some point, might as well be this weekend.


Pittsburgh (-3.5) vs. Denver: I hate the Steelers, but they'll cover. Denver sucks.


Indianapolis (-3) vs. Jacksonville: This is going to be an awesome game, much better than Pats vs. 'Boys. It's going to come down to the kickers and it's going to be awesome. Can't bet against my boy Peyton tho...




Fantasy Stud of the Week: Honestly I have no idea, so I'm going to pick...um...er...TOM BRADY!!!!!!!! That's boring. Let's get adventerous...howabout...you know what? Joey Galloway. Detroit is an awful defensive team and, seeing as Tampa doesn't have any healthy RB's (I don't count Bennett yet because he just joined the team, he'll get some time, but it's not the same as a back who's been with the team the entire season) so they'll throw the ball a lot. Galloway has been so consistent for so long, every year he has one of those massive games where nobody can cover the guy. He's old and remains as fast as ever and I'm feelin a big game for the former Buckeye.

2 comments:

Daddy said...

you are dumb fucks obviously you have not seen the bills games this year. They are a solid squad with relentless defense. Toronto is not a sports town they have so many goddamn orientals its ridiculous. The bills will never leave buffalo. Two losses by 1 point unreal. those fucking brown eyes suck. your team is awful you will never make the playoffs you might as well move again. Buffalo remmebered for OJ and super bowl losses the borwns are remembered for moving during the night and then winning a superbowl hahahaha

Hugh McSnatchercraft said...

theyre a solid special teams and above average defense, ill give you that. their offense is absurdly putrid, not baltimore, but close.

you really think once ralph wilson dies that the group that buys the bills will keep it in such a small market esp when toronto WANTS an nfl team and has a ton of people willing to buy? new stadium, people willing to buy luxury boxes, wider appeal as the only canadian franchise...sounds a lot better than staying in buffalo. at least browns have enough national support coming in that we don't need to rely heavily on revenue sharing or have to turn down certain league proposals because it'll hurt us financially.

i will give you the bills' throwbacks being among the best uniforms in all of sports tho. that and kelsay, lynch, mcgee and shoebel are beasts.