Hi everybody. I'm fucking rollin' right now. I came to school early to do a paper that was due today, but there's no way I can finish it, so I got like half of it done and I just needed a break. Whateva.
Anyways, I'm still coming to grips with last week's sports nut punch and I'm in dire need of a distraction. While I cope with all my personal problems with construda, the only thing to truly kill a sports hangover is to get right back on the letdown rollercoaster. Usually by this time of year, I've given up hope on the Browns and start reading up on draft picks. NOT THIS YEAR. I've got Brown fever, and I don't mean I wanna bang a black chick, I mean I do...but this isn't the podium for that oration.
No, I mean the BROWNS. Fucking finally. Way to take your sweet ass time with this Brown's management. Hey, lets invest small mountains of cash into these two freakish athletes who are a physical mismatch on anyone else in the league and let's just keep em in the garage. Granted, there is something I would've like Lt. Winslow to keep in the garage, but no harm no foul...whatever.
The Browns are fun again. But wait! There's more! MOTHERFUCKIN' BUCKEYES! Again, no. 1, see below post because my thoughts echo exactly AC's, but under the leadership of Subcommandante Wayne, we all now live in UzBuckistan. But we shan't look into the future, nay, for many obstacles await the proud (remaining) warriors of the Mighty Cuyahoga. But for right now, it's fucking sweet.
Onto the picks:
Detroit (+5) vs. Chicago: I still hate the Bears, hate their secondary, they've been giving up a shitton of points. Ah, Roy Williams and Calvin Johnson, may Lord Martz lead you through the skies in a triumphant display of aerial fireworks, delivered by St. Kitna, that leave the fat citizens of Chicago choking on their sausages. Ahhhhhhh-me-e-e-nnnnnn-ah!!!
Indianapolis (-7) vs. Carolina: Real reason the Colts will beat the Pats: the Colts have gone into Houston, Tennessee, and Jacksonville, and won by not turning the ball over, dominating while they have the ball, and taking care of business. The Pats haven't had a true test (spare me with the Cowboys shit) and have to go to Indianapolis where the crowd will be much more of a factor. Looking forward to it, hope the Colts aren't.
NYG (-10) vs. Miami in London: Tally-ho, Guvnah. Bloody good day to see some aquatic mammals get slaughtered by some cheeky Yanks. Bloody hell, I got vinegar on me trousahs.
Oakland vs. Tennessee (-7.5) in AMERICA: Hate Oakland on the road especially facing Haynesworth, Bullock and Vanden Bosch. Doesn't matter if VY plays or not...
Philly vs. Minnesota (+1): Also in AMERICA, yet I could officially give 2 shits less about this game.
Pittsburgh vs. Cincinnati (+4): Don't like Pittsburgh nearly as much as the national press does. They face the league's worst rushing defense (it's true, it isn't the Browns) and they don't run the fuck out of the ball. Don't like 'em on the road, don't really like 'em at home. Look who they've beaten this year...nobody. Not saying they won't win, I just think it's going to be a close game regardless.
Buffalo (+3) vs. NYJ: You like that commenter Daddy? Hmm? Yea, I'm taking Buffalo. Really. See, it's not that I hate them, quite the contrary, it's just that, as an impartial observer, I just don't see the financial allure of Toronto being something that Buffalo will be able to overcome. Think of it this way...they could be moving to LA. Anyways, the reason I'm taking the Bills is because the Jets are fucking atrocious. Mangini is a shit coach and they have shit players for their shit 3-4. Great idea Jets. "Hey, let's go to the 3-4 THE YEAR after we draft a bunch of players who are fit for the 4-3. I think it could work...you? Eh, what the fuck, we'll do it anyways, what's the worst that could happen?"
Houston vs. SD (winner, no spread yet): No spread yet so I'm just gonna pick the winner. LT + Gates + Chambers (?) + NORVELL = close winner on the road. I can't see the Texans winning this, but at the same time, I can't imagine how the Charger players could really be focused (esp. if they don't know if they're going to play in Dallas or Phoenix or somewhere else).
Jacksonville (winner, no spread yet) vs. TB: I like TB and I love Jax's running game. They can move the ball on the ground against the Bucs, even with a probably stacked box because Quinn Gray is most likely going to start.
NO (-3) vs. SF: No brainer, SF is truly awful and the Saints are desperate for wins. The Saints should roll.
Washington (+17) vs. New England: I DO NOT think that Washington will win, but I do think they have the secondary horses to keep it to a 2 touchdown game. Jason Campbell is the real deal and I'm not sold at all on the NE defense. Plus, there's no way in hell that Tom Brady can keep this up...can he? I don't think he will against the Colts, thats for sure.
GB (-3) vs. Denver: I really hope the Pack will at least try to run against this awful rush D, even if they throw it, it should be a good game for Favre. I'm not sold on Denver either, a win over visiting Pittsburgh isn't that impressive anymore.
Browns (-3) vs. St. Louis: Not really confident, the Browns are an unproven team on the road. If DA keeps maturing...aw fuck it, if the Browns can't win in St. Louis against a winless Rams team while they're coming out of their bye week then I'm gonna be pissed as all bloody hell.
Overall Record: 21-21 after a bad week last week. I don't even know if these numbers really reflect my picks all year, but whatever. Maybe I'll really look through and get my actual record, but I do know that...I don't even know...
Fantasy STUD of the Week: Not easy this week as there aren't any obvious matchup's (unlike last week where I whiffed terribly). I'm going to go out on a limb and say Braylon Edwards. He's been tearin' it up this year and goes against the Rams secondary which any of us could score on. I expect multiple TD's and a good chunk of yards, essentially a solid day all around offensively. Plus, believe it or not, St. Louis actually defends TE's relatively well, meaning that the onus is on Braylon to get the sticks moving and make some big plays. Why shouldn't we expect this? He's been great all year, even against the Pats. He's facing a similarly awful secondary than what he faced in Week 6 against the Dolphins so...there we go.