Friday, November 23, 2007

Happy Turkey Day Bitches

Today is supposed to be a day to give thanks. Well I'm just thankful for the day off work and now I can just sit on my ass and watch some football. As much as it pains me to say, I kinda hope the S-H-I-T-S, SHITS, SHITS, SHITS give the Cowboys a game. Romo is my fantasy QB and Marion Barber III is one of my backs so I hope they them them theirs. Otherwise, I just hope its an entertaining game. I'm definitely going to be watching the NFL games and we'll see what happens with that USC vs Arizona St. game has in store for the evening. The only reason why I'll watch that game is because my Buckeyes could end up playing one of those two teams in the granddaddy of 'em all on New Years Day.

I'm not a big turkey guy, but there's nothing like some Turkey Day leftovers. Hugh is jammin out with his clam out in Rochester at his grandma's. What a vag. Either way there's an ass load of football on this week, plus some college basketball (OSU vs A&M), and a boat load of NBA games still to go. So everyone enjoy the weekend in sports and since Hugh hasn't done so, here are my picks for this weekend's NFL games. GO BROWNS!

Green Bay (-3) vs. Detroit: Is that even a question? I used to hate Farve, but he's just gun slangin'. I'll take Green Bay at -3. Farve on Thanksgiving, thats as close to a sure thing that you can get. Plus, Kitna is starting to feel that pressure of that pre-season prediction right about now.

NYJ vs. Dallas(-14.5): Are we the only ones who are NOT surprised that the Jets beat the Stillers last week? I mean don't get me wrong, I don't think the Jets will come close to the 'Boys, but I hope they at least make interesting. I'll take Dallas, but thats a damn high spread. Fuck it, I'm puttin the house and kids on Tomy Romo and the Boys.

Indy (-12) vs. ATL: I'm goin to go out on a limb here and say that Indy will win. Groundbreaking stuff, I know. But who really cares about this game? Even if you live in one of these two cities, you shouldn't care what happens here. Talk about a great game to put on the NFL Network... God I hate that shit.

NO (-3) vs. Carolina: I'll take NO. I'm going to play it safe on this one. Take NO with the spread. Isn't Vinny starting again? That dude is 20 years older than I am...

Tennessee (-1) vs. The Nasty 'Nati: I'll take anyone to beat Cincy. Actually, scratch that. I'll take any team to beat anyone but the Browns in the AFC North. Yea, and VY is decent too. He might actually be able to have back to back decent passing games. He might have 400 yards himself. And you know what my boss, who is from the Nasty Nati says about the Nasty Nati: It's a drinking town, with a football problem.

Houston vs. Cleveland (-3.5): Ok I'm going all out here. I'm putting everything I own on the Browns this weekend. Parlay this: Browns on the over (+/- 51), on the spread -3.5, and on the money line. I'm all in baby.

Buffalo (+7.5) vs. Jax: Alright, upset special. The Bills are coming off a loss to the New British. Actually, they are coming off a TERRIBLE loss to the New British. So, I look for the Bills from B-Lo to come out swinging. Look for Lee Evans to destroy the pussy cats with bombs baby. It won't even matter that Lynch isn't going to play.

Oakland vs. KC (-5): Screw it, I'll take KC. I really could care less. The only reason I take KC is because I just signed that Kolby Smith dude and Oakland is terrible vs the run. Great logic, I know.

Minnesota vs. G-Men (-7.5): No AD, no good. Thats basically the Vikings only shot at winning anything.

Seattle vs. STL (+3): I'm going STL. Why? Because I hate Seattle. I'm like 47% convinced that Matt Hasselback is gay, 87% convinced that Shaun Alexander is a uni-ball, and 100% convinced Mike Holmgren needs a raw salmon in his mouth all the time.

Washington (+3) vs. TB: I'll take Washington here. No Cadillac and no Pittman. Sounds like no victory, but I really could care less.

SF vs. Arizona (-10): I'll take Arizona here. SF looks like they are just as bad as Miami. Right now I'll put STL ranked ahead of SF any day. Another who cares game.

Denver (+2) vs. Chicago: We'll see if Denver is hot or not, but Tennessee has a good D and they beat them last week. So we'll see what they can do this weekend. Plus Chicago is and has been way over rated. Sexy Rexy is the man tho.

Balt. vs. San Diego (-9): I look for San Diego to put together a string of a consecutive wins and finish the season on a high note. After the slow start that they got off to and then the mediocre middle they've been going through, look for that to end.

Phila vs. New Brits (-22.5): No McNabb, no problem. Who really cares? Why not see what this rookie can do because you know that Philly will not be the team to upset the New Brits. Another great game to put on prime time TV. Why wouldn't the league schedule the Pats vs Cowboys game on Thanksgiving? Isn't that your ratings grabber?

Miami (-16) vs. Shits-burg: THE STREAK STOPS HERE!!!!!!!

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