Now, with spreads!!!!
Oakland (+5) vs. Miami: I like Oakland because of Culpepper and Lamont. Miami is the new Oakland. Oakland is the new Tennessee.
Houston (-3) vs. Atlanta: Atlanta is by far and away the worst team in the league. They'll win 2 or 3 games this year no more.
Chicago vs. Detroit (+3): Both Chicago's starting CB's are hurt at the worst time. Roy and Megatron come rolling into town along with Miracle Kitna. Brian Griese is starting for Chicago which means he'll throw 3 int's subtly without the Cannon's flair. The Bears look like a 5-11 team, Benson can't run, the line can't block, the defense is on the field 45 minutes a game (as good as the Bears D is, they still can't do this). Bad news Bears. BRING ON KYLE ORTON!!!!
Green Bay (-1) vs. Minnesota: For some reason I just didn't feel safe picking GB. They're better defensively (barely) and offensively (significantly) than Minnesota but they just don't seem for real yet. They don't have a running game and Favre blows in domes. But the spread is so low and I feel so underwhelmed by Minny's offense that I just can't pick them.
St. Louis vs. Dallas (-11): This is not a good week to play the Cowboys. If Predator and Bulger were healthy, I'd take St. Louis every time, but they aren't so how 'bout them Cowboys?
NYJ (-2.5) vs. Buffalo: Who cares?
TB (+2.5) vs. Carolina: Carolina is uninspiring especially with David Carr at QB. Even more convinced if Delhomme is out. Plus, TB is this year's Team That Surprises Everyone only to Lose in the First Round by 24.
Seattle (-1) vs. SF: No Gore or VD.
Pittsburgh (-5) vs. Arizona: Fuck the Steelers.
KC vs. SD (-12): You can just smell how pissed off LT is. KC will get torn apart. It will not be pretty.
Denver vs. Indy (-9.5): Old school Peyton ass-whoopin'. Expect at least 300 yards, at least 4 TD's. Champ and Dre can't do squadoosh against Peyton. I heart Peyton.
Philly (-3) vs. NYG: Giants are just too banged up and are facing McNabb at the worst time. Let's have a moment of silence for the plight of the white reciever.
NE (-6) vs. Cincy: You are an idiot if you do not take the Patriots every chance you get. They are a gift.
Baltimore vs. Cleveland (+4.5): Laugh if you must...
Last Week: 8-8
Fantasy STUD of the Week: Roy Williams. Going up against a decimated Bears secondary. Just a case of a terrible matchup coming at the worst time for the Bears. Plus he's really cheap and loves the Transformers. Nothing is funnier than a pro athlete making $1.5 million (that's it? surprising...) being a fuckin' tightwad. Plus, he's a grown ass man as evidenced below.
(HT Orton pic: Deadspin)