Friday, October 5, 2007

Thursday Night, It's Always 420 in Here, NFL Picks of the Week

I'm sorry, I just don't have it in me today. My head can't comprehend certain things like the impending weekend of football. The Tribe has officially occupied every last crevice of my brain, every single wrinkle, until after tonight, where I will then get my veins ready for a hot plate of football heroin. I'll make some picks, but they're going to be half-assed, I'm spent, 12-3. One thing tho, UPSET SPECIAL. SEASON OF DESTINY. GO TRIBE. GO BROWNS. FUCK YOU LEBRON. JUST KIDDING. BUT SERIOUSLY, KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE YANKEES SHIT. FINE, BE THAT WAY. GO TO FUCKING NEW YORK. GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE. I'M SORRY. I CAN'T STAY MAD AT YOU. I LOVE YOU LEBRON. YOU HAD ME AT HELLO.

That's right. I'm predicting it NOW. The Patriots will not remain unbeaten as of this coming Sunday. SUNDAY. SUNDAY!!!!!!! Browns win in a shocker 38-28. Really? What the fuck did I just tell you? Season of fucking destiny!!!!!!! All those exclamation marks can only mean one thing. Confidence. Confidence in knowing damn well that God is smiling down on the city of Cleveland and Jon Kitna. This is the season of destiny. It's been building. Buckeyes (twice) and Cavs came close. Tribe is igniting the flaming arrows. Browns are emerging. Uh-oh.

Can it really happen? Can the Browns beat the Patriots and shock the world? Is there a remote chance of this happening? Fuck and yes. Randy Moss who? Tom Brady? Koolaid? Yea, Koolaid's the shit. But the other two can go suck each other off under the bleachers. DA, Jamal, Braylon, Lt. Winslow. Oh it's coming. It's coming hard and fast. Like a horny pitbull humping the shit out of a shy acquaintance who's too timid to look the dog in the eye.

Season of Destiny

Picks (points): Saints, Jags, Lions, Titans, Texans, Steelers, BROWNS, Cards, Giants, Colts, Chargers, Ravens, Sex Packers, and howbout them Cowboys?

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