Tuesday, November 27, 2007

NFL Power Stuff: Playoff Picture

I was going to write a nice little memorial thingee to Uber-badass Sean Taylor, but it just seemed pithy and out of sorts. I'll sum up my thoughts thusly: He was a badass on the field and one of the most fun players to watch. It sucks he died.

Here's how its gonna ride, beetches. This ain't no seeding shit. This is me looking at the playoff contenders and ranking them in order of who I think is the best TEAM out of the bunch. I don't care about schedules or stats or any of that shit. This is a totally biased reflection on what I've seen this year. I'm only ranking the Playoff contenders because I honestly don't feel like writing about shitty teams like the Bengals and Chiefs...wait, the Chiefs are still in it? Well fuck me sideways.


1. New England - Really? Fuck them. Brady still isn't as good as Peyton. I'll always be more impressed with skill and execution than I will with letting Randy Moss feast.

2. Indy - Listen, I think they're better than the Pats. But until they get healthy, I can't put them up there.

3. Cleveland - Am I a homer? Unabashedly so. Do I believe this? Absolutely. Despite being 0-2 vs. the Steelers, I'm convinced the Browns are the better team. Ben Roethlisberger is a top 3 NFL QB? Really? Did I sleep through last year? I must have missed something because he is still a guy who holds on to the ball too long and gets lucky breaks (like his face on a windshield).

4. Pittsburgh - They're pretty overrated, but solid nonetheless. After last night's MNF game, I don't know how the Steelers can honestly consider that wasteland an acceptable place to play professional football.

5. San Diego - LT, Gates and Merriman. That's all it takes.

6. Jacksonville - How can I rank them below SD? Easy. David Garrard. Sure, no INT's on the year. Great. Good for him and mobile, African American QB's everywhere. Does that make him good? Not really. No Mike Peterson is going to hurt them badly and they're one more injury away from the typical end-of-season swoon that always hits these guys.

7. Tennessee - VY needs to play better. Haynesworth needs to come back. That's all.


1. Dallas - TO + Romo = awesome. I love Big D.

1a. GB - Yes, Favre is great. I think Favre is a microcasm of America, a shining example of what we should all be. Yes, a true American grandstands and bitches at management. A true American criticizes his coworkers for wanting more money. A true American loves mixing painkillers and alcohol. Listen, Favre is a great FOOTBALL PLAYER. That's where it ends because all his contract shit? Yea, that's basically the NFL version of Roger Clemens. I love the guy as a player, but would I be upset if he retired? Probably not.

That's all the time I'm going to spend talking about the NFC. Really...they suck. Seatlle? Tampa? If you think they do a single thing in the playoffs, good for you. You must enjoy central Florida and the Pacific Northwest, because you're the only people who honestly think those teams are worth a shit. In the NFC it's GB and Dallas and that's it. They could play the NFC Champ game next week for all I care (and they pretty much are). Whatever, fuck the NFC.

This was fun. I should spend more time doing this more often again. Yea, that's right, read that sentence again. No sense. That's why I like this lil' place. I can vent and vent without any regard for grammar and context. Awesome.

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