Tuesday, January 8, 2008

This Shit Better Pay Off Eventually

Cleveland is known for being a tortured sports city, but after this last year, I think it's safe to say that there isn't a city in America that can come ANYWHERE close to as tortured as we are here. Let's just run the fucking checklist already so I don't bite my own tongue off.

  • 3 Consecutive OSU humiliations in National Championship games (2 football, 1 basketball)
  • The Cavs getting swept in the NBA Finals
  • The Indians losing a 3-1 lead in the ALCS
  • The Browns missing the playoffs despite going 10-6

Holy shit, does it suck right now.

Why does God hate us so much? I mean, it's not like we really did anything wrong here. We already have a half-retarded population here because all the smart young people leave the first chance they get and some of the worst, most unpredictable weather in America, yet whoever is calling the shots upstairs decided to donkey punch us after raping us in the prison's shower. Thanks!!

Last night sucked on so many different levels I really don't care to relive any of it. As a matter of fact, what seemed to be a good idea, a good venting rant, now is a terrible idea, because I don't care anymore. We've suffered enough that, really, nothing else can hurt us any more than the last year has. Oh wait, we still get to watch LeBron leave in a few years and there's always the chance Brady Quinn or Derek Anderson kicks ass elsewhere.

All I'm saying is that I've, and we as a city, have paid our fucking dues and it's about time we see something come from it. Yea, each of those teams mentioned above had their moments of sheer joy that I'll never forget, but, after the fact, it just hurts.

It's not fair that shit-hole cities like Pittsburgh get 5 Super Bowls despite being organisms that can generally be considered human (both fans and management). It's not fair that assholes like Tony Parker and Dwyane Wade can get yet another NBA Championship while LeBron is saddled with Larry Hughes and Sasha Pavlovic. It sure as hell isn't fair that the Red Sox can just outspend everyone else and then watch their NFL team pull heist after heist (and then cheat!) and go 16-0.

The only reason I stick around is because it's going to payoff. It has to. There has to be an end to such a fucking awful streak. Yet, despite our team's relative successes, we know it's going to be hard to sustain it. The Browns have the hardest schedule in the NFL next year. The Cavs are so bogged down by bad contracts and bad management that we might miss out on the LeBron show moving forward. The Tribe is still great, but our chief Division rivals just picked up two young superstars for nothing because some asshat in fucking Florida doesn't care about the sport, only the bottom line. OSU, even if they resemble the 1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers, probably will get shafted because they blew 2 straight chances in horrible fashion.

But it's going to payoff. We're going to get ONE championship, ANYTHING, and the city will be euphoric. When that time comes, and it will, the law of averages says so, everything will feel resolved. The pain of last night that I've felt all year, and all my life, will be for a reason and my loyalty will feel rewarded. I won't jump ship to another team from another city, even if I move, because it won't mean the same things. Last night certainly sucked major ass, but for some stupid reason I can't explain, it feels like it'll all disappear the moment Cleveland wins something.

In the meantime, I'm going to go self-medicate the shit out of myself until I forget everything I know.


Jim said...

Armageddon's coming sooner than you think. The Cavs have Lebron, the Indians are an October team until 2012, and the Browns have more talent than they've had in decades. You should start praying now because sometime in the next 5 years the world's coming to an end. Its too soon, but I'm throwing out my predictions right here:

World Series Champs - 2008
Superbowl Champs - 2009
NBA Finals Champs - 2010

The Real A.C. said...

Dude the Tigers worry me this year in the Central.

Any predictions for who the opponents will be?

I say:
??? who cares the NL is a "B" League.
Packers (sorry Farve, but you're goin down one last time)

Jim said...

Tigers Tigers Tigers. Ive been hearing a lot about them lately but I'm not going to start worrying about them until the ALCS. Two things that do worry me though are 1) Santana going to the Boston Yankees or the NY Red Sox 2) CC getting injured because of the way Wedge abused him last season. Forget both these if the Indians can somehow get Bedard.

They beat Arizona in 4
Browns beat Cowboys
Cavs beat San Antonio in 4 ; Its three years from now, why not.

The Real A.C. said...

Don't sleep on the Hornets though... They have 3 key young pieces in place with Chandler, West, and Paul. Throw in Peja, Pargo, and Mo Pete. They could be a contender pretty soon.