You know what today is? It's No Belt Wednesday. I call it that because I got to work this morning and realized I forgot to wear a belt. Good thing I'm wearing a sweater, take that! Plus my pants fit my body so the belt is an unecessary accoutrement.
You know why I mentioned that today is a historic No Belt Wednesday? Because it's the NFL offseason, and there isnt anything else to discuss. I could regail you with tales of LeBron James' NBA dominance or perhaps the story of a small/mid-market baseball team with cheap owners once again failing to pony up the cash for a fan favorite, but I won't. There's simply no need.
See, that's the beauty of the NFL. Because there are only games for a short period on the calendar AND only once a week, there is a certain aura about football that leads to discussion. The NFL is inifinitely more interesting to talk about than the NBA where it's, more or less, more athletic guy who isn't an idiot wins or baseball which is a bunch of preppy white boys and Puerto Rican/Dominican imports chewing tobacco and injecting HGH into each other. There's no strategy in either sport when it comes to either off-season or in-season.
Baseball, highest bidder wins. Basketball, a glut of retarded teams do nothing but feed great players towards bigger markets while they languish in incompetance. There is good news, however...Golf season is starting up. You might think I'm crazy, but Golf is easily, EASILY, the 2nd best professional sport.
Think about that for a second...What other professional sport (I'm not talking college football) has almost total parity, no individual leverage, where a no-name can beat an elite player almost every week and the scenery provides the ultimate sports-stoner theater? I would rather watch a Golf Tourney with no top players in the field than watch an NBA game (other than the Cavs) in January or an MLB game (other than the Tribe) before September. It's simply just not entertaining.
Now you might say, well golf is boring to watch. I'll grant you that, begrudgingly, but if you're a golfer, there isn't much better entertainment. Next Sunday, when you're not watching football, actually watch golf. The swing vision shit is awesome and the courses are magnificent. Plus, it beats NCAA Basketball (which has been ruined to a near-NHL level).
Another reason I hate the offseason...there's jack shit to talk about, yet all anyone DOES talk about is the NFL. Why the fuck is the combine such a big deal? I don't know, but I'll tell you that I spend at least 2 days reading everything I can about it. The Draft? A personal holiday that I enjoy like nothing else. Training Camp? Free agency? The NFL is like meth. You go on a 4 month bender, and then the other 8 months, you smoke every now and then, but basically abstain, and when that next 4 month bender comes up, you get FUCKED UP. Each consecutive year in the NFL, for me, is better than the next. But, it goes both ways, each offseason lasts seemingly longer and longer, and I just need my fucking fix god damnit.
Fuck the NBA. I spend too much time bitching about it and watching games and shit when, really, I could give two shits less. Same with baseball, even tho it's definitely relegated to 5th in my pecking order (NFL, Golf, NCAA Football, NBA, MLB), partially because I can't stand putting personal effort into watching a league run by BUD FUCKING SELIG and partially because I don't really enjoy watching paint dry.
Anyways, this is going to be a long many moons until I can finally get that NFL-needle into my veins, but, as always, I'm not gonna stop jonesin' for it.