Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Football Withdrawl



Let's start it off with some good ol' Michigan hatin'. I love the Dead Schembechlers. Why? Because they hate Michigan. Oh, why not, one more for good measure...



Wow, that's nice. Real nice. Good fuckin' music. Nothing beats pounding vahg while listening to a song that says, "Chad Henne is a dick, a motherfucking dick, a fucked up, sucked up whiny prick, he can't catch a chick, when he fucks, he comes to quick because Chad Henne is a motherfucking dick."

Now let's get down to the meat...THE BROWNS SCHEDULE!!!!!! What a rovery surprise during draft month, 3 Monday Night Football games (which could go to two if the Eagles game gets moved to Thanksgiving night), 1 Sunday Night Football game, a Thursday night NFL Network game and a slew of national spotlight games. The world will see what Brown and Orange rape looks like, especially against those asshole Stillers.

GAME 1: DALLAS COWBOYS

This will be a tough one, lets just be conservative and chalk it up as a loss.

GAME 2: PITTSBURGH STEELERS

This will be a win, I have no doubt about it.

GAME 3: at BALTIMORE RAVENS

I want to be conservative and not get crazy...I'm gonna say this is a loss as well. Don't worry lil' Brownies...

GAME 4: at CINCINNATI BENGALS

This will be a win...Think Ocho will still be there? I don't...sinking ship.

GAME 5: NEW YORK GIANTS

This too will be a win, just a gut feeling. Still don't think Eli is THERE yet, but it should be a great game. Can't wait to watch Joe Thomas and the Big Turds go up against MICHAEL STRAHAN, HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS?!?!?!

GAME 6: at WASHINGTON REDSKINS


Win. Washington sucks.

GAME 7: at JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS


Loss. It'll be a great test for our new D-line, but you can't win em all.

GAME 8: BALTIMORE RAVENS

Win.

GAME 9: DENVER BRONCOS

Hmm...short week because it's a Thursday game, still think this is a win, Denver's D-line is just overmatched by our O-line, simple as that.

GAME 10: at BUFFALO BILLS

Buffalo sucks, still won't hear anything that will convince me otherwise. Trent Edwards is your future? Enjoy Toronto.

GAME 11: HOUSTON TEXANS


Win. Don't like Houston yet, plus Schaub will probably be injured at this point, they still don't have a running game, no matter who they draft, just see them as a team on the rise, but not there yet.

GAME 12: INDIANAPOLIS COLTS


Remember Week 17 from last year? Yea, me too.

GAME 13: at TENNESSEE TITANS


I don't like the Titans at all. They haven't drafted well and look like a team that's going to be in the top 10 for the next few years just because they have NO depth at any position other than RB.

GAME 14: at PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Depends if this is a Thursday game or not...if so, it'll be a little big tougher, well...let's just stay conservative and call this a loss as well.

GAME 15: CINCINNATI BENGALS


This will be a win because it should be shitty weather. Running on the Bengals? Easy as gettin' the clap in New Orleans. Not that I know or anything. Nope. Moving on...

GAME 16: at PITTSBURGH STEELERS

Let's call this a loss too, JUST TO STAY CONSERVATIVE. Don't like it either, but I don't want to look like a typical homer.

So let's get a quick tally...11-5? Should be good enough to win the AFC North, all things considered. Won't be too easy, but I'd say it's do-able, you?

I'm fuckin' excited, can't wait till the fall.

6 comments:

Gonzo said...

I'm glad you took the conservative route to getting 11 wins. Good job dude.

The Yankee Hooligan said...

LOL. Dream on.

Anonymous said...

You are a retard and a homer, the Browns will be lucky to start 3-5 and will not make the playoffs. The schedule is tough and the moves you made will not remake your defense. One fat DT that isn't motivated to play, one DT that doesn't fit your system, and a MLB from Vegas won't save you. Who is going to cover on your team? You gave a ton of cash to a backup QB, BROWNS ARE LUCKY TO GO 6-10, WRITE IT DOWN!

Get off the Schneid said...

I am going with 10-6. It is a tough schedule but I think that they will surprise a few teams and finally beat the teams that they should beat...namely the AFC North. I really don't care if they finish 8-8 as long as they finish 1st in the division.

I hate the Yankees

Get off the Schneid said...

wow...great analysis "anonymous". If you think that the 2 DT's the Browns picked up and a 4th rounder were meant to "save" the team, then I would have to classify you as the retard. No one is expecting them to remake their defense...just fill some holes that were not all that big to begin with. Yes, they have some secondary concerns. Yes, it will be interesting to see how the new D-line performs. And finally, yes, everyone is holding their collective breath that DA will perform again this year. The good news is that they finally (last year included) have a good O-Line and can give more than the 1.5 seconds we are used to to throw the ball. And worst-case scenario, if he fucks up, Quinn will be ready. Not a bad problem to have. Oh, and don't forget about Edwards, Winslow, Stallworth and Jurevicius (possession, 3rd down). Not bad. In case you were unsure, retard, in order to win, you just have to score more points.

Get off the Schneid said...

please disregard the Yankee Hooligan post completely...he is a soccer fan and runs a soccer blog. Good luck with that.