Well after an interesting evening in college football, its time to watch the Browns to 8-4. Dude, think about this. I'm not trying to be some homer or anything, but Hugh and I were talking the other day about the Browns. The Browns record could actually be 10-2. The only losses they had this year that they weren't in it on the final drive are the drubbing in week one from the Stillers and then the Patriots game. Until the Eagles game, I thought that the Browns played the Patriots the best all year, well I don't include the Colts game I guess. So basically, they played the Patriots the third best. Sweet. Either way, but that second Stillers game and that Raiders game were both within reach. I mean, I was so pissed that after the performance they had vs the Nasty Nati putting up 50 then losing to OAKLAND! Ok, enough of this. Picks time:
Falcons vs Rams (-3): I'm going with STL. Steven Jackson is going to destroy the Falcons himself. Does anyone even care about Atlanta anymore? We are just waiting for Petrino to draft Bromm with their draft pick. Anyone surprised? Who really cares? Exactly, moving on..
Bills (+6) vs Redskins: I'll take B-lo here. Sorry to all in Washington DC about the loss of Sean Taylor. In the wake of the tragedy that is the passing of Sean Taylor, it has to be just way too hard to think about football on a day like today. And I'm sorry, but I would think that Lee Evans will be able to do his thing vs the 'Skins. Seriously, Sean Taylor is like 5 months older than me, and I think, no matter what your impression of him as a person was, this is a true reminder that players need to put life in perspective and learn from what Sean Taylor did. He made the necessary realization that something needed to change, and the result is an absolute tragedy.
Lions (+4) vs Vikings: Are you kidding? This is like taking candy from a baby. The Lions are going to throw all day over the Vikings. Kitna has been struggling as of late, but the Vikings can't stop anyone in the air. Next.
Texans vs Titans (-3.5): Titans. Haynesworth should be back and he should sign as a free agent with the Browns to play nose tackle for their 3-4 D. Look for the Titans to do what they do: its ugly, but its a W.
Jaguars (+6.5) vs Colts: I'm taking the Colts on the W, but the Jags to cover. Indy is banged up and barely beat the Falcons last week. If you've got Peyton Manning on your team, then you basically always have a shot to win.
Jets (+1) vs Dolphins: I'm taking the Jets. Fuck it. They beat the Stillers and I picked the 'Fins to beat the Stillers so by my logic, since that didn't happen means the Jets will beat the Dolphins. Who really cares anyway. At this point, I'm just hoping for a winless team. Since the Browns are doing so well, I want that coupled with a team doing something that many thought the Browns would do, but never did. If that makes any sense.
Chargers (-6) vs Chiefs: Who cares about the Chiefs? Chargers need to start winning to gain some confidence because you know they are going to win their weak league.
Seahawks vs Eagles (-3): Another barn burner. Match up of teams with coaches who look like walrus'. I'll take Philly because A.J. Feeley is pimpin it up now.
49ers (+3) vs Panthers: I'll take the Niners today. Why not? Both teams suck. They might be feelin good about getting after it again with that big time W last week.
Bucs vs Saints (-3): If Garcia were able to go today then I'd take the Bucs, but he's not, so I'll take the 'Aints.
Browns (+1) vs Cardinals: ESPN just said that Braylon looks to be a go so far today and Larry Fitz seems to be a scratch. Does that even change my pick? NO. Browns win big. The Cards secondary is diminished.
Broncos (-3.5) vs Raiders: Jamarcus might play today. Whoopidie Doo. What should be a great rivalry game. Kinda like what I'm hoping the Browns vs Steelers returns to in the coming years. But its not... screw it take the Broncos.
Giants (-1.5) vs Bears: G men need a W so they can finish the season saying they didn't start hot, only to fizzle down the stretch AGAIN.
Bengals (+7) vs Stillers: I hate the Burg. I hate that Nati. I hate the Nati less. The Nati wins.
Patriots (-20) vs Ravens: Ya see, the Ravens might be able to throw a few curve balls to the Patriots here and there, but the Ravens might not score. Is Boller starting still? Who cares, McNair isn't any better. I hope they don't fire Brian Billick for the same reason I hoped Lloyd would stay at Michigan. At least this way you know 2 divisional W's each year. Hopefully the same can be said about the Nasty Nati.
By the way, did anyone see in the ESPN player interviews about Sean Taylor? They showed Clinton Portis, and some other big time players and then they showed this guy. I saw him and I was like "Who is this dude?" and I found out who it was. I kinda figured you'd only know who he is if you are a Redskins fan. So for those of us who aren't there ya go.
And I was watching that Washington vs Hawaii football game last night. If you say that the Cleveland Indians, Washington Redskins, and the University of Illinois Ilini mascots/team insignia are racist then you HAVE to throw in the University of Hawaii. If that's not discriminatory then neither are those. The way I saw the Hawaii people cheering and doing their tribal like dances seemed to be more of a celebration of a culture, so how is it that the other 3 aren't?
(Hugh's rebuttle: If there were a bunch of Native Americans in the stands at Redskin, Indian and Illinois games dancing and shit, it wouldn't be racist. Those are Hawaiians in the stands in Hawaii, not white people from the suburbs.)
Showing posts with label NFL Picks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NFL Picks. Show all posts
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Thursday Night, er, Morning, It's Always 420 at Work NFL Picks of the Week
No special bullshit at the beginning of this orgy of NFL prognostication...JUST THE FACTS. JACK.
SF vs. Atlanta (-3): Is it just me or does it seem like all the shitty teams are playing each other all the time? When do the Rams and Dolphins play each other? What about the Falcons and the Jets? Did they play yet? Do they even play each other? Man, I have no idea. I'm taking the Dirties because of one thing, Jerrious Norwood, otherwise known as the legitimate NFL running back that doesn't see the field because Warrick Dunn loves to do charity.
Cincinnati vs. Buffalo (+1): Taking Cincy on the road against an increasingly frisky Bills team? Don't think so. Cincy's patchwork line and shitty uniforms will get trampled under the feet of Kelsay and Shoebel like some bitch cheerleader trying to fix a sign...
Dallas (-3) vs. Philadelphia: As much as the, "J-E-T-S" chant pisses me off, I find the, "E-A-G-L-E-S. EAGLES!!!" chant to be much more irritation. As ignorant as both of them are, at least the Jets one is somewhat original. But please, more than half of NFL fans know how to read and write, spare us the spelling lessons and stop yelling.
Denver (+3) vs. Detroit: Call me an optimist or an idiot, but I just don't think that a team led by Jon Kitna has any chance at being a legit playoff contender. There's no way the Lions are for real this year, granted the same thing could be said about the Browns, but if any team can hold Detroit's air attack off, you have to like Dre Bly and Champ Bailey's chances. Honestly, I have no idea who's going to win/cover/whatever.
GB (+2) vs. KC: Are you serious? Green Bay is an underdog to the Chiefs? I'll give the Chiefs some credit, they're better than people expected, but honestly, they're really a notch above mediocre. Just sit back, relax, and let Brett Favre's dulcet tones wash over you like a warm blanket. Kansas City? Favorites against a 6-1 team? Yea, they're at home, but Arrowhead isn't the same place it used to be. I'd take the Chiefs if they played in a dome tho.
Jacksonville (+3) vs. NO: Another odd line. Even with Quinn Gray starting you have to love the Jags here. Here is a little theorem of mine: if a football team that physically beats the shit out of people faces a team that is made up of a bunch of pussies, the physical team usually wins until the pussy team decides to bring their balls with them. How could you not see MJD and Fred Flinstone running all over these guys? Quinn Gray be damned.
Houston (+3) vs. Oakland: Don't really care. Houston? Sure why the fuck not.
SD (-7) vs. Minnesota: I'm taking a lot of road teams for some reason. I think the Chargers cover, but it won't be easy. Rivers is going to have to have an awesome game because the Vikings don't allow shit for rushing yards. Then again, this could be the Chris Chambers coming out party. Is it just me or is Minny's dome the fucking ugliest building in all of sports? Well, the Devil Rays stadium is pretty shitty, but the Metrodome isn't close behind. Couple that with purple unis? Ugh.
Arizona vs. TB (-3.5): Close game, two decent teams. I like TB for some reason.
Carolina (+4) vs. Tennessee: I realize that they have to make the lines close enough so that people will bet on both teams, but the Fightin' VY's don't beat people by more than 3 points. I mean they do, on occasion, like last week when they won by 4, but this game has "game winning FG" written all over it.
Washington (+3.5) vs. NYJ: Yea the Skins got scalped last weekend by some bush league punk in a cutoff sweatshirt, but they're still a good team. The Jets on the other hand...if the Dolphins, Rams, Falcons and 49ers weren't all having historically shitty years (we might end up with 4 2-14 teams...), the Jets, and especially that fucking asshole Mangini, would be getting roasted. I can't emphasize enough how awful the Jets are. I could make a case that they're the worst team in football right now, and it could be a convincing one. But this is not the avenue for such adventure in team-bashing. Nay, this is a place where we congratulate the possible winners of NFL games, and the Jets won't be in that conversation until 2008.
Baltimore (+9.5) vs. Pittsburgh: If they both lose, we all win!!!! The Steelers are one of the most overrated teams in the league, beating up on the scum of the NFL. Then again, the Ravens wins have come against basically the same opponents the only difference being, the Ravens couldn't score more than 20 points. I think Big Ben sucks it up in this game and everyone's favorite Ed Reed makes a bunch of big plays and, not necessarily wins outright, but will at least keep it close.
GAMES OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seattle vs. Cleveland (-1.5): I'm in shock, nay, AWE. The Browns are actually a favorite against a division leader. Granted that division leader is one of the most putrid teams in the league, but a division leader none-the-less. I'm totally prepared for a Browns defeat or victory. Basically what I'm saying is that as big a Browns fan as I am, I can afford to miss this game. At least, I can tell myself that because I wont have the FUCKING OPPORTUNITY TO WATCH FUCKING PATRIOTS VS. COLTS BECAUSE THE FUCKING NFL IS A BUNCH OF DIPSHITS AND DOESN'T WANT TO SHOW FAVORITISM TO TWO MARQUEE TEAMS SO MY FUCKING CITY GETS INCLUDED IN THE 6% OF THE FUCKING COUNTRY THAT DOESN'T GET THIS GAME. Why don't I get to watch the Pats-Colts game? Because the fucking Seahawks are in town. As if I didn't hate the Seahawks enough as it is, I get to see their fucking ugly ass Certs package uniforms clash with an entire stadium of Brown and Orange...great.
New England vs. Indianapolis (+5): I'll talk about this game in it's own post.
Fantasy Stud of the Week: Was I right about Braylon Edwards last week? Fuck and yes. This week, it's MJD. No bullshit really, just that he's facing the Saints defense, which I mentioned earlier is comprised fully of a large group of labias. I see MJD GASHing his way all over the field, especially since Quinn Gray is the starting QB. Quinn Gray. Team that wants to run all day. Defense that can't stop said run. Little cannonball running back who doesn't enjoy being tackled. I'll take my chances with that scenario.
SF vs. Atlanta (-3): Is it just me or does it seem like all the shitty teams are playing each other all the time? When do the Rams and Dolphins play each other? What about the Falcons and the Jets? Did they play yet? Do they even play each other? Man, I have no idea. I'm taking the Dirties because of one thing, Jerrious Norwood, otherwise known as the legitimate NFL running back that doesn't see the field because Warrick Dunn loves to do charity.
Cincinnati vs. Buffalo (+1): Taking Cincy on the road against an increasingly frisky Bills team? Don't think so. Cincy's patchwork line and shitty uniforms will get trampled under the feet of Kelsay and Shoebel like some bitch cheerleader trying to fix a sign...
Dallas (-3) vs. Philadelphia: As much as the, "J-E-T-S" chant pisses me off, I find the, "E-A-G-L-E-S. EAGLES!!!" chant to be much more irritation. As ignorant as both of them are, at least the Jets one is somewhat original. But please, more than half of NFL fans know how to read and write, spare us the spelling lessons and stop yelling.
Denver (+3) vs. Detroit: Call me an optimist or an idiot, but I just don't think that a team led by Jon Kitna has any chance at being a legit playoff contender. There's no way the Lions are for real this year, granted the same thing could be said about the Browns, but if any team can hold Detroit's air attack off, you have to like Dre Bly and Champ Bailey's chances. Honestly, I have no idea who's going to win/cover/whatever.
GB (+2) vs. KC: Are you serious? Green Bay is an underdog to the Chiefs? I'll give the Chiefs some credit, they're better than people expected, but honestly, they're really a notch above mediocre. Just sit back, relax, and let Brett Favre's dulcet tones wash over you like a warm blanket. Kansas City? Favorites against a 6-1 team? Yea, they're at home, but Arrowhead isn't the same place it used to be. I'd take the Chiefs if they played in a dome tho.
Jacksonville (+3) vs. NO: Another odd line. Even with Quinn Gray starting you have to love the Jags here. Here is a little theorem of mine: if a football team that physically beats the shit out of people faces a team that is made up of a bunch of pussies, the physical team usually wins until the pussy team decides to bring their balls with them. How could you not see MJD and Fred Flinstone running all over these guys? Quinn Gray be damned.
Houston (+3) vs. Oakland: Don't really care. Houston? Sure why the fuck not.
SD (-7) vs. Minnesota: I'm taking a lot of road teams for some reason. I think the Chargers cover, but it won't be easy. Rivers is going to have to have an awesome game because the Vikings don't allow shit for rushing yards. Then again, this could be the Chris Chambers coming out party. Is it just me or is Minny's dome the fucking ugliest building in all of sports? Well, the Devil Rays stadium is pretty shitty, but the Metrodome isn't close behind. Couple that with purple unis? Ugh.
Arizona vs. TB (-3.5): Close game, two decent teams. I like TB for some reason.
Carolina (+4) vs. Tennessee: I realize that they have to make the lines close enough so that people will bet on both teams, but the Fightin' VY's don't beat people by more than 3 points. I mean they do, on occasion, like last week when they won by 4, but this game has "game winning FG" written all over it.
Washington (+3.5) vs. NYJ: Yea the Skins got scalped last weekend by some bush league punk in a cutoff sweatshirt, but they're still a good team. The Jets on the other hand...if the Dolphins, Rams, Falcons and 49ers weren't all having historically shitty years (we might end up with 4 2-14 teams...), the Jets, and especially that fucking asshole Mangini, would be getting roasted. I can't emphasize enough how awful the Jets are. I could make a case that they're the worst team in football right now, and it could be a convincing one. But this is not the avenue for such adventure in team-bashing. Nay, this is a place where we congratulate the possible winners of NFL games, and the Jets won't be in that conversation until 2008.
Baltimore (+9.5) vs. Pittsburgh: If they both lose, we all win!!!! The Steelers are one of the most overrated teams in the league, beating up on the scum of the NFL. Then again, the Ravens wins have come against basically the same opponents the only difference being, the Ravens couldn't score more than 20 points. I think Big Ben sucks it up in this game and everyone's favorite Ed Reed makes a bunch of big plays and, not necessarily wins outright, but will at least keep it close.
GAMES OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seattle vs. Cleveland (-1.5): I'm in shock, nay, AWE. The Browns are actually a favorite against a division leader. Granted that division leader is one of the most putrid teams in the league, but a division leader none-the-less. I'm totally prepared for a Browns defeat or victory. Basically what I'm saying is that as big a Browns fan as I am, I can afford to miss this game. At least, I can tell myself that because I wont have the FUCKING OPPORTUNITY TO WATCH FUCKING PATRIOTS VS. COLTS BECAUSE THE FUCKING NFL IS A BUNCH OF DIPSHITS AND DOESN'T WANT TO SHOW FAVORITISM TO TWO MARQUEE TEAMS SO MY FUCKING CITY GETS INCLUDED IN THE 6% OF THE FUCKING COUNTRY THAT DOESN'T GET THIS GAME. Why don't I get to watch the Pats-Colts game? Because the fucking Seahawks are in town. As if I didn't hate the Seahawks enough as it is, I get to see their fucking ugly ass Certs package uniforms clash with an entire stadium of Brown and Orange...great.
New England vs. Indianapolis (+5): I'll talk about this game in it's own post.
Fantasy Stud of the Week: Was I right about Braylon Edwards last week? Fuck and yes. This week, it's MJD. No bullshit really, just that he's facing the Saints defense, which I mentioned earlier is comprised fully of a large group of labias. I see MJD GASHing his way all over the field, especially since Quinn Gray is the starting QB. Quinn Gray. Team that wants to run all day. Defense that can't stop said run. Little cannonball running back who doesn't enjoy being tackled. I'll take my chances with that scenario.
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