Monday, December 3, 2007

Purple Jesus doesn't need an LCL

Everything looks fine here...

Why the fuck does he have to be on the Vikings? Why can't he be on a team that isn't nauseating to watch? Fuck, I'd even like to see him on the Falcons rather than the fucking Vikings. Wait, that's a lie.

This is a stupid, worthless post, but if I was the NFL Commish, these are the teams I'd get rid of ASAP:

1. Minnesota Vikings - History be damned, they've ruined it all.
2. Atlanta Falcons - Unless Vick was still playing and Arthur Blank shaved his mustache (Zygi could shave his 'stache and he'd still be a douche.)
3. Carolina Panthers/Jacksonville Jaguars - Why do these teams exist? Oh that's right, to have great players play in front of half empty stadiums.
4. Seattle Seahawks - They haven't won anything and don't really have a rich history outside of Brian Bosworth and that one tough-as-balls WR Steve Largent.
5. Arizona Cardinals - They don't care about winning
5a. Cincinnati Bengals - Paul Brown must have hated his kids because they're running his team into the shitter.
6. Baltimore Ravens - Should never have existed in the first place.
7. New Orleans Saints/Buffalo Bills - Just do us all a favor and move already so we can scrub our memories clean of all the crap your owners have heaped on the league. Don't want to spend money? Fine, go buy a CFL franchise.

Yes, I realize that I just eliminated 10 teams from the leage. But seriously, wouldn't the NFL world be much better off with the talent distributed evenly between the teams that actually give a shit/aren't painful to watch? Fuck all those teams.

Oh, since my ADD just kicked into hyperdrive, I'll end this with something about Purple Jesus. That video above? Yea, should never have happened. WHEN YOU HAVE TORN LIGAMENTS YOU FUCKING LET THEM HEAL NO MATTER WHO'S (Brad Childress') JOB IS ON THE LINE!!!!!!!!!! Then again...just another awesome day of the Zygi Wilf era.

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