Cleveland Browns to Wear White Throwback Helmets

Apparently the Browns are going to honor the 1946-49 AAFL dynasty that won four consecutive championships. My buddy who I work with is also a member of the Field Crew for the Browns and he dropped off some white helmet shells and the equipment manager for the Browns was just going to experiment with some color schemes, but apparently this is going to be official for some training camp or possibly a regular season game in this coming season.

The color scheme is going to be an all white helmet, a light gray facemask, the same striping style only two brown outside stripes and this time with an orange inside stripe down the middle of the helmet, and a brown player number on the side of the helmet. It sounds cool to me. I'm a big fan of white helmets and light gray facemasks, not to sound queer or anything.

The question Spencer asked me though is, what uniforms will they wear with them? I think all white would be pimpin. Though the browns really don't have many color combinations to choose from, but all white seems to be the best fit. It would be an especially nice fit, beacuse in the picture I linked to above as them in all white uni's there. So just to be consistent, we'll say white.


[Uni Watch]

Brady Quinn's First NFL Appearance Live Blog

• Derek Anderson got a little beat up on a Michael Lewis blitz...reports from CLEVELAND'S OWN Tony Rizzo say Brady might get in now as the Fox cameras show him warming up on the sideline...OMG OMG OMG He's so cute.
• Fucking Browns need to at least get a stop first things first. Fucking Christ Kamerion mother fucking ass fucking whore. Don't you realize that we wanna see Brady Quinn you fucking 5-10 pieces of shit ass fuck bitch? Goddamned Tourette's is kicking my ass right now.
• GO PEYTON MANNING!!!! Dude, get a fucking life. Don't root for someone else to lose, that's just not the way to roll. And if you're going to, fucking do it at home, don't wear a Peyton jersey to a Browns-49ers game.
• And the Browns defense lets a fucker who was a 47 year old Heisman winner at Free Shoes University, and the only QB in NFL history to lose 15 straight games hit a physically-damned Darrell Jackson for a TD. Can we say every draft pick will be spent on defense? Yes, we can.
• Josh Cribbs is the best-est.
• Here's the man himself, coming into a huge ovation. That's gotta be a good feeling.
• That was an awful first pass. AWFUL. Lots of pressure tho.
• Rumor has it, Jamal will be here for awhile. Great signing, the man clearly is back, but it would be wise to still try and sign Michael Turner.
• The same pass, haven't you been watching on the sideline? Vickers hasn't caught a pass all year, doesn't matter if it hits him right in the hands or not. Decent pass.
• Then he hits Heiden for a pretty first down. Nice seam, hit him on the wrong shoulder, but Heiden is pretty underrated and can still make that catch. Decent pass, good catch, still Quinn fit it through a window and got some nice yards. He has a lot more arm strength than people were saying during the draft. Granted, DA still has the best arm on the team, Quinn isn't Chad Pennington here, haven't seen great accuracy yet, but then again, he's only thrown 3 passes so maybe I should stop being a douchebag.
• Gets another one. Joe J. makes a nice underneath catch, ball was right in there. Effective if not spectacular, haven't really taken any shots.
• Whoo. There's a nice pass to Winslow in the flat. Looked like Vickers was the intended target, but he somehow found Winslow on a different level, nice play, throw and catch.
• Missed fade pass, just too much on it and Clements had really good position. Nate Clements, from Shaker Heights (Cleveland suburb), is always going to get that position and he's one of the best at jamming at the line.
  
• Braylon dropped that one. Tough catch to make in traffic, but it was a solid throw even if it was a little late, but still, safe and out of reach from any defender.
• WTF??? Kellen had that for the first TD. Right there, good pass, nice first showing. That'll probably be it until the half...DA or Brady in the 2nd? Hmm...smells like a controversy.

That'll be it for now until the 2nd half. I'm gonna go watch Die Hard 3.

2nd Half:

• Brady or DA? Brady or DA? I'm not going to lie, if it's DA, I'm outta here. We expect him to be good. Well, it's DA. I'll stick around for a second. Damnit Romeo. Why start making good decisions now? Fuck.
• I bet if K2 catches that...Quinn keeps going.
• Dear God is Joshua Cribbs fucking amazing. Who cares that he was holding, it was still sweet. JC Pearson makes a great point...why even kick to him? That was a bush call too.
• Patrick Willis is just ridiculous. What an amazing pick. But he's not a 3-4 LB. He would be an unstoppable force if you got him two big chunkies in there to let him do his thing, he'd get 15 tackles a game without even sweating.
• Haha. Booing DA for a near INT. Classy stuff people. Right, boo the guy that got you to 9-6 after years of going 4-12. Sometimes I just want to kill people here. It's fucking obnoxious. Then he goes out and perfectly sells a shovel pass that gets a good gain with great blocking for Jason Wright by Ryan Tucker.
• Awesome pass by DA. Seriously, this is his first year too. DA can fit shit in at any level, you can't just give up on that. He's going to get better, and if he doesn't...then we have a backup plan. Let the man develop without having to look over his back. It's not like he's a 30 year old journeyman, he's a 24 year old with 3 years already in the NFL. That's called a solid plan executed.
• Kellen Winslow's handwriting looks like a 4th grade girl's. Just sayin'.
  
• Good lookin' throwing it out of bounds. DA has improved over the course of the season. His decision making, aside from last week's debacle, has become somewhat solid.
• Dear God, Patrick Willis. Layin' the wood. That man is my hero, coming from his background to what he has become...you don't want to get hit by a guy like that. He's putting every ounce of pain from his hard childhood into each hit and it shows.

I'm gonna get out of here and just watch the game. Brady looked OK, but it was a smart move sitting him down. He got a taste and hopefully he can learn from that, but for now, DA is the right choice.

Browns' PFT Rumors

I love Pro Football Talk. It's easily my favorite football website going around (well, other than Football Outsiders) and the treasure chest of inside information is always a lovely view of the inner workings of the NFL.

There are two rumors running around on there that have me a little more than EXTREMELY FUCKING EXCITED...

-Dolphins are interested in DA...and willing to give up their first rounder.

-Dolphins are interested in Romeo.

OK, the prospect of getting Darren McFadden is enough to give any Browns, or any other NFL fanbase, a offseason long boner that can break walnuts and solve crimes but let's be realistic here...it isn't going to happen, and perhaps that's a good thing. Do we really want $35 million invested in a RB? Eh...

But at the same time, it's D-Mac added to the ridiculous offense we already have. The problem is, he's a luxury, a bonus. We don't need D-Mac, we need a defensive line. Sure, I'd welcome a first round pick that high, but is Miami really willing to abandon that pick just to secure a QB who has been erratic?

I'm a big DA fan, but his regression over the last few games has me a little concerned about his ceiling. I don't know what to make of Quinn, seeing as he has no NFL experience, but with the recievers we have, I'd be willing to take a flier on him if a DA trade gets some good draft picks in return. If we had Darrell Jackson, Arnez Battle and Ashley Lelie as our starting WR's (ahem...SF) there's no way I'd consider getting rid of DA, but the fact remains, we have a top flight corps of pass catchers with an elite pass protecting line. Oh, and a pretty solid running game regardless of who is in there...it seems to me that the Browns' situation is tailor made for any QB to succeed. If you can get a piece that'll add some serious meat to the offense, you might as well do it seeing as there is room for error at the QB position right now.

Romeo is an interesting case. Is he that good a coach? The players sure seem to like him a whole lot, but has he really improved his 'production' over the course of this year? The answer is murky at best. His first two years were rough, due to the shitty rosters and injuries, but at the same time, his decisions were suspect. His infamous challenge record is a dubious honor as is his timeout usage. He's a players coach for sure, but it wasn't long ago that Kellen and Braylon were openly criticizing him.

I'm of the school of thought that says NFL coaches are the most valuable in professional sports. In baseball and basketball, the coach is really not that big of a deal (esp MLB, at least in the NBA a good coach can impact the game at some sort of level, in the MLB you have fucks like Tony LaRussa doing shit they don't need to do just so they can be called a genius) but in the NFL, you need a leader who is infallible in his decisions and Romeo just isn't that.

Now, I'm not advocating a coaching change, if anything, I'd like to avoid one. But the fact remains, if the Tuna in Miami throws some good draft picks our way, we'd be foolish not to jump at the chance to grab them. Who would coach in Romeo's place? I'd say give Chud a chance, but we're not even close to that situation happening.

Basically, the PFT rumors are nice. They're a diversion to the shit our season has turned into after one shitty game, but be realistic. These things aren't happening and, ultimately, it's probably for the better.

September 16, 2007...The Day it all Started

I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was nice out still, sunny, pleasant, and for some reason I really didn't dwell on the dismal week prior. It was a typical Sunday for me, woke up late, made myself a King's breakfast, smoked a bong, watched NFL Countdown and looked at golf clubs online. In my mind, I was on the precipice of December...as in the Browns' season was already into the doldrums.

So I drive over to AC's apartment to watch the game, low expectations, yet optimistic still that the Browns could salvage something. I mean, come on, the Bengals just thrashed the 13-3 Ravens on Monday Night Football and have a recent history of running up the score.

The game started uneventful enough. Then as it progressed, something strange happened, and I'll never forget the words I said to AC as the game evolved...

"Holy shit, an NFL quality throw? The Browns?"

This was still early in the game and to say that DA's bar was set low would be a vast overstatement. Really, who knew what to expect? Sure he looked good in the Chiefs game, but not really THAT good.

How wrong we all were.

I'll never forget the sheer awe I sat in watching DA sling passes around like there wasn't a defense there. Well, it was the Bengals D so I might have been right. It was offensive perfection, just thinking about it makes me happy and gleeful despite the fact that I'm sitting in this bullshit office thingee with investment statements all around me.

Offensive perfection. There are no other words to describe that day. It was a beautiful performance, by both teams really, but that was to be expected from the Bengals. It was great seeing Chad Johnson, still cocky, acting like a douchebag. It almost seemed like he thought he was breaking the Browns' back whenever he or Housh scored. To be honest, I expected it myself. I expected the onslaught to end, I mean look at the previous week, I didn't expect 24 points to be scored until the 4th week of the season, let alone in one half.

But it just never stopped, and not only did it not stop, it got even more ridiculous. With Jamal Lewis looking like a 2,000 yard rusher again and absolutely torching DB's to the offensive line opening up holes that this bitch could get through it seemed surreal...

But the day belonged to DA. Kellen Winslow was an established NFL player at this point. Braylon Edwards was a promising young WR entering his 3rd year, a benchmark for young WR's to emerge. Joe J. was a savvy vet, you knew what you were getting with him. You knew the talent was there, just waiting...

Then the strong-armed Scapposian comes in and starts chucking the ball downfield...I didn't know what to expect. The ball he threw was gorgeous, the prototypical spiral, cutting through the air like a torpedo through water. It was the perfect storm that nobody could see coming, a Nor'easter slamming into the coast 20 minutes after it was clear as glass.

In the preseason, it was Brady Quinn this, Brady Quinn that. Amongst the media slobbing, Browns fans missed the tell-tale signs, the quips that of the three, DA was the one who Chud favored for this offense. We had no idea. All of the sudden, on September 16, this tall, lanky goofball starts chucking these darts downfield. I was fucking shocked. How the hell could he honestly think these were going to be complete? What the fuck is this? The Charlie Frye era totally destroyed any thought of a downfield passing game, I was used to checkdowns. But when Braylon and Joe started hauling these things in, it was like Christmas.

And it never stopped. All of the sudden, Braylon and Kellen are getting 30 yard touchdowns like it's Madden on Rookie, everything was complete. The offense had more than swagger, it had a definite chip. They were acting like they couldn't be stopped. Just when you thought Cincy would catch up, start playing the D they played on MNF 6 days prior, Jamal would burst one for a huge gain. It was sheer madness.

I'm not going to lie, I didn't believe this was really happening. I didn't believe that the Browns, my Browns, were actually outgunning one of the top offenses in the NFL. I didn't believe that Jamal Lewis actually ran for 200 yards. I didn't believe that Derek fucking Anderson actually threw for 5 TD's. It just felt imagined.

Since September 16, the Browns have established themselves as one of the more balanced and efficient offenses in the NFL. From pass-heavy to run-heavy, they can do it all. The offensive line has emerged as a dominant force, the recievers and tight ends, almost uguardable, the running backs, effectively versatile. Lost in the whole craziness was the continued development of the great return game, Josh Cribbs delivering numerous ridiculous returns. The Browns are able to score on anyone in a variety of ways.

Since then, we have been beaten in games we, in hindsight, should have won (Raiders, Steelers, Cardinals). We have played the Patriots in a game that was much closer than most people realized. We have had overtime thrillers, thorough beatdowns, and had to close out a few scary games.

We have realized that Joe Thomas was the right pick. We have realized that Braylon Edwards was the only member of his top-10 draft pick peers to actually deserve his selection. We have realized that Jamal Lewis isn't done. We realized our defense misses Brian Russell more than you'd think we'd miss a slow, white defensive back. Yet, out of all of this, the Browns have emerged a strong, fundamentally sound team that should scare the shit out of people from here on out.

September 16, 2007 was the day the Browns found their identity. The parts were all there, but DA was the key that started the engine. Since that day, the reversal of AFC North fortunes were flipped. No longer were the Browns the guaranteed win they were in the past, now the Bengals and the Ravens were the whipping boys. The Steelers are now genuinely concerned. Winning is not only desired, it is expected, and it all started after the 51-45 shootout.

With the rematch looming this weekend, the Bengals have little to play for outside of assuming the role of a spoiler, while the Browns are playing for their postseason. Win and we're in. Lose, and it's going to get interesting.

Will Cincy show up? Will the rift emerging between the talented recieving corps and the marquee QB break this team apart? Will the Bengals even bother to try knowing that they have nothing to play for? Or will they avenge their humiliation, the ruining of their season to a group of guys the rest of the league laughed at?

The matchup is still the same...poor defenses trying to stop high-octane offenses. The location has changed, as has the season, but if you expect the same style of game, you're out of touch with the game.

It's not the fact that the Bengals are 5-9, it's that it seems more and more as if their top players genuinely hate each other. It's that the Cincy o-line is atroucious at best and open like Jamie Lynn Spears' legs at their worst. It's that, despite the improved play of the defense, they're still allowing a 66% completion percentage by opposing quarterbacks. It's that they're still the Bengals, the team that has finished above .500 exactly once since electricity was discovered. It's that the Benglas are the laughingstocks they always have been.

I'm not predicting an outcome for Sunday's game, I'm still not 100% sold on the Browns' defense. However, it is clear that if you look at the two teams, one is clearly on the same page and the other is on the brink of catastrophe. This game will make or break each other's seasons, continuing the ripple caused by September 16. If the Browns win, we'll look to this day as the day it all started. If the Bengals lose, serious evaluation of this frachise's long-term course must be undertaken.

It'd be foolhardy to look at this game as an easy win for the Browns. The Bengals will be fired up, avenging the destruction of their season will be on the top of their minds. The game is in Cincy, never an easy place for the Browns in the recent past. But the weather is cold, and I can think of no one better than Jamal Lewis to properly euligize the Bengals' season with a hammer-like performance, nailing the coffin shut. One long Browns drive and the game could be over quickly, but if September 16 was any indication, smart money's on the over.

Browns Fans: SIGN THIS PETITION

Sign this...

How in the FUCK could anyone even consider changing the Browns' uniforms? Give me a fucking break. The one bastion of tradition remaining in the NFL, and there's actual consideration being given to CHANGING IT????

You either love or hate the Browns' unis, it's a fact of life. But they're still an indentifying characteristic of the organization. Face it, as indentifiable as the Cowboys' star is, or the Raiders' crest, or the Dolphins' Coke-bottle dolphin with the mismatched helmet logo is, the Browns' lack of ANY logo is what fans identify the team with. You mention the Browns to anyone and the first thing they would most likely mention is the lack of a helmet logo and the traditional uniforms.

Please, PLEASE, stick with tradition, keep the uniforms sacred, as a part of the team's history, I beg of you.

Quick Monday Morning Thoughts

-That was fun as hell to watch.

-Jamal Lewis is the shit.

-Um...does the shutout still count?

-Wearing sleeves in freezing weather in the middle of a blizzard does not make you less of a man. Then again, it makes you look tough.

-Phil Dawson hit a beautiful 49 yard punch fade into the wind at 16 to get himself close for an birdie.

-I wish I had more to say about the game, but really, it was just Jamal beating the fuck out of the Bills for a few hours.

-Now to the important thing. Fucking Rich Rodriguez. I immediately go from a fan of his to someone who thinks he's a douchebag and destined to fail. Michigan doesn't have the resources to run his offense for at least a couple of years, and even then, who knows how much success he'll have?

The thing that scares me about the whole Rich Rod going to Michigan escapade is the impact it'll have on Terelle Pryor, the gifted QB/WR/whatever prospect who reminds scouts of Vince Young. His choices were narrowed down to OSU and WVU, and he does seem tailor made to the spread option we all know Rodriguez is a fan of. Something to keep tabs on.

Ugh. Competency in Ann Arbor.

The Bills are a Good Team?

Really? That's what people seem to be saying. "Oh, they're really coming together, playing solid ball this year." Really? The Bills? Wow, that's kind of a new one.

Hell, even I'm guilty. I said they had a solid defense. That's just not true. Sure, they're stats are affected by playing the Patriots, but at the same time, they're inflated by playing the Jets twice, Dolphins twice, Redskins and the Ravens. The Cowboys game was their best performance by far, but they decided to hand that one off, they didn't need to win it. Oh, and that's when they were healthy.

Their offense would make the 1999 Browns' offense look like the 1999 Rams. Marshawn Lynch is a very solid player. Trent Edwards might be the 2nd worst starting QB in the league, only because some team in Gay Mecca is starting Trent Dilfer.

"But we have awesome special teams!!" Awesome, so do we.

I'll give credit where it's due. Donte Whittner is the real deal. Schoebel and Kelsay are the real deal(s). Marshawn Lynch is awesome. Jason Peters is awesome. Kevin Everett can walk again.

Here's what's working against you...first off, Dick Jauron is your coach. Second, you have Trent Edwards, crown prince of the dump off, running your offense rather than J.P. Losman who has a Favre-esque gun. Edwards is great...if you like having the other team's safeties 15 yards off the line of scrimmage and making plays all day. That's what happens when your QB can't stretch the field, it's called Charlie Frye Syndrome.

The Bills defense gets respect...which is funny considering they're the 16th ranked rushing defense and the 29th ranked passing defense. Would I take that for the Browns? If you asked me a month ago, I would have said definately. Now...no way in hell.

I always liked the Bills back in the day. Loved K-Gun. Loved Thurman Thomas and Bruce Smith. Thought Andre Reed was the best WR in football other than Jerry Rice. I absolutely LOVE, unconditionally, their throwback uniforms, easily the best in football (outside of the Browns). I can empathize with the fans, they're just as loyal as Browns' fans and create a great home-field advantage.

But personal sentiments don't override logic. The reality is the Bills are not a good football team right now. While detractors can point to the Ravens and Bengals being weak, those teams at least have talent. While the Browns have played the Jets and Dolphins, they at least scored more than 17 points. The Browns weren't embarassed by the Pats, while Buffalo was 2x.

Cleveland and Buffalo are similar cities, and it's good to see both of us have WINNING football teams again. I say winning, rather than good, because only the Browns are a good team. The Bills are a fraud, akin to the Jets from last year. Why the media feels the need to hold their defense in a good light is beyond me, because it isn't good.

That said, I'm nervous as fuck about Sunday.

Browns vs. Jets

Nice to find 2 pretty damn good rookie CB's...


...that the Jets couldn't. Nice try Revis.



"I'll see you in the showers, bitches. You betta watch yo' ass."

Calm Before the Storm

Well, it's Friday. I've busted my nut all week at work, so do you think at 3:19 PM on a Friday afternoon I'm going to give a shit if I get anything else accomplished? Fuck no. The rest of the office is bullshitting around and I just finished a project that took me way too long to complete. So I'm just waiting for the inevitable Monday email saying, "Hey, fuckface, why the fuck couldn't you get us this fucking report on fucking Thursday?" Of course in much nicer language, but regardless, I'm in full Derek Bell Pittsburgh Pirates Operation Shutdown Mode...

This is a rovery (phonetic spelling of an Asian imitation) week for some FOOTBALL!! WHOO!! First off...Illinois. Second off...Auburn vs. Georgia. Third off...ARMAGEDDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Illinois sucks. I hate them. I hate their uniforms (always the first thing that determines whether or not I hate a team/player. If their unis suck, they suck. Which is why I just cannot root for any Carolina Panther or Minnesota Twin) and I hate their coach. I hate their stadium (thank God we ain't playin' there). I hate their state. I just hate them. I like Mendenhall tho, that kid will be a beast. BUT ENOUGH COMPLIMENTS.

Illinois always seems to be a thorn in the Buckeye's dick. Why not a thorn in the side? Because that's just annoying. A thorn in the dick, however, is a serious SERIOUS issue. Somehow, usually when the Bucks play in Champagne (is that how it's spelled? I know that's how you spell the wine, but I'm not sure about the city. I'm actually positive the city is spelled differently, but you know what? I don't give a fuck. The only thing I give a fuck about is using parentheses as an excuse to go on an ADD-addled side rant.), the Illini give a shit about football and come to play. Fuck them. Fuck Juice Williams. Fuck Ron Zook. Not this week child-bangers.

Next comes an SEC game. The only reason I'm going to watch this is because I'm going be stoned from earlier and it'll be too early to go out. I don't care about either team. I don't really like Auburn all that much and I like Georgia's stadium (the hedges are cool) but the team doesn't do it for me (it's the shitty dog bone good play stickers and odd shade of red, oh, and Matt Stafford, that kid is a douche)...still it's good football and when you're eating 3 dozen wings because you were too stoned to remember to eat...it's a great way to spend a couple hours.

Then comes the Steelers. There will be no hate filled diatribe today. Only paying my respects. The Steelers have positively owned us since 1999. If Monday Night Football was any indication they're playing some good football. OK, I'm going to compliment them...they fucking beat the living shit out of the Ravens. Not just beat up, or dominated, literally Steve McNair's shit was strewn all over Heinz Field. That was vicious. I haven't seen a game with that many big hits in a long ass time, maybe even ever. That was a step above a snuff film. Hey, I hate 'em, but that was awesome to watch.

You know, since the Cincy game happened earlier, I have gone into every game with the expectation to win. Yes, even the Pats game (which we could have if we scored that opening TD, oh well...). This time...my expectations are tempered. Can we keep the run going? Can we continue to play great offensive football? Will our defense show up? The Ravens are a tough team and they got the wood laid to them, can we withstand something similar? I mean the Steelers just looked so much BIGGER than the Ravens. It just seemed like a mismatch. The Steelers D-line was fucking awesome, unreal...They essentially copied the Browns beatdown in Week 1. I just don't know...

Listen, I'm predicting a Browns win. I expect a good, competitive game. Yea, Pittsburgh has a great front 7 on defense. James Harrison looked like the greatest defensive player of all time on Monday. Roethlisberger looked like the second coming of John Elway. Willie Parker looked like shit (THANKS WILLIE!! GLAD I DRAFTED YOU IN THE FIRST ROUND OF MY FANTASY DRAFT!! Fucking asshole.) However, there are a few things that I just can't overlook that bodes extremely well for the Browns. It's a short week coming off a physical game where emotions were running high thanks to the 75th anniversary thing. There WILL be a letdown, but of what degree? There is no way they can replicate that PERFECT performance. And it was perfect. I just don't see how they can do it on a short week.

Second, if the Browns come out and play uninspired bullshit football like they did in the first game, then Romeo must go. I'm not really excited about him having some job security, but if they slip up and lose focus, then shit will really hit the fan. I just don't see that happening though. Braylon and Lt. Winslow just have too much pride to let some bullshit like that happen. Derek Anderson is NOT Charlie Frye. The offensive line has actually played their own positions now and knows what to expect.

Third, all this talk about the Pittsburgh defense is a little misleading. They have an incredible pass rush, granted, but haven't faced a passable offensive line yet. They are 3rd in DVOA for pass defense, yet have faced some "unstoppable" passers like JP Losman/Trent Edwards, Alex Smith, Chad Pennington, McNair/Boller...My point is, their corners and safeties are junk. Yes, even Polamalu (hey Roy Williams is calling from Dallas, he wanted to offer you some coverage lessons). This team is not good defending the deep pass, which is kinda funny seeing as the Browns are pretty fucking awesome at the deep pass. They're also 23 in DVOA against TE's. Last time I checked Lt. Winslow was an above average TE. They can be passed against.

In my eyes, this game boils down to two things...pass rush and pass protection. If the Browns offensive line can keep the dogs at bay, there is no doubt the Browns will score points. The other thing is a little more hard to predict. Peek and Wimbley are phenominal talents and the Steelers' tackles are pretty ordinary (and that's cutting them some slack). These two HAVE to win their individual battles otherwise Fat Ben will just chill back there all day and throw darts.

We have to match the Steelers' toughness. If that LITTLE BITCH Hines Ward tries to pull some of that shit like he did Monday, next time Brodney or Sean Jones sees him, they better fucking give him some of his bullshit right back. The Ravens had their shit kicked in, the Browns can't let this happen.

I haven't been this nervous for a football game since last year's Michigan beatdown (a quick aside: the fact I wasn't nervous about the NC game should have let me know that I was in for a long night). I have no expectations for Sunday, I know what the Browns need to do to win, but I'm not sure if they'll do it. This is a huge stepping stone for the team. Win Sunday, they're legitimate playoff contenders. Lose, then the following week against the Ravens is almost a must win. Let's face it, the Browns haven't exactly been tested by the toughest competition. Granted the Seahawks are a talented, but poorly coached, team, but it's pretty easy to say that the Ravens and Bengals are not nearly as good as prognosticators said they'd be. Dolphins and Rams? 0-8 pretty much says it all.

Last week against Seattle was crucial. It proved that the Browns can stick around in a game, comeback from a deficit, impose their offensive will against a very good defense and protect against a phenominal pass rush. It showed that, when backed against a wall, our defense can rise to the occasion. The Browns are calm and collected. They are confident. They are talented. Can they win? Absolutely. Do I expect them to? I'd be lying if I said I expected them to lose, and that's all I'm going to say on that.

Yea, I predicted them to win in my weekly picks. Yea I was full of bravado and marijuana. Yea I might just be a delusional stoner who's active mind takes him in multiple directions and may, or may not, be a sign of mental issues. As awesome of a beatdown as Monday night was for the Steelers, they aren't going against an aging team with a liability at QB. They're going against a team that's fucking pissed for being embarassed at home, a team that is sick and tired of being called losers. They're going to face a team that now can expect to win games and isn't going to pack it in if they get shoved around.

The Steelers will try and knock you down until you give up. If you give up, you're done. If you get back up and look those fuckers in the eye and hit them back, they fold like cheap suits. The Steelers are classic bullies in the sense that they love to hit you, but they don't like to get a taste of their own shit. Ya feel me?

So much for saying there won't be a hate filled speech. Yea, I rambled on for a long ass time, but it was necessary. This isn't an ordinary week for Browns fans. This is what we've been waiting for since 1999. We have returned to relevance like a comet. We aren't flash in the pans like the 2006 Jets who had narrow wins against awful teams that didn't really show any type of football talent. The Browns are a team that has all the building blocks in place. A team with youth AND incredible athleticism that can be a force for years. This is the first meaningful game that this group will have played in their careers and if they go out and bust ass like they have been all year, they'll fucking reap the glory and bathe in the tears of ignorant writers nationwide.

Browns: Thoughts at the Halfway Point

Yea, not a lot going on right now plus I've been busy as shit at work and with school and all that crap...Anyways, I just wanted to vent a little bit about the state of the Browns at the middle of the regular season. And, yes I said regular season because there are going to be more Browns games played after Week 17.

I love the massive amout of foot being shoved into mouth by the national media. I can't count how many ingorant prognosticators picked the Browns to finish at the bottom of the league, but to be honest, I didn't blame them, completely. I blame it not on actual analysis, moreso on taking the Browns for granted, and I find this to be completely unacceptable.

You look around at all the "educated" football prognosticators such as PFT and Football Outsiders as well as a few members of ESPN's Scouts, Inc. department (bunch of fucktards) and they all believed the Browns would show a modicrum of growth, not being playoff contenders, but showing improvement. See, that's a realistic view of the team, something gleaned from actually looking at the roster and deciphering the characteristics of the offense.

Now I don't blame the oversight for the success so far this year. We started the year off with Charlie Frye, and it is safe to say he was a cancerous tumor. There is no other way to put it. I will forever connect Charlie Frye with a deadly body that has to be removed before the patient can recover. Notice how well Seattle is doing... Nobody knew what we had in Joe Thomas. Or Derek Anderson. Or Braylon Edwards for that matter. The season was a question mark.

But at the same time, even the most mentally handicapped of the football media should have been able to see that this was not the worst team in the league. By name, I count Peter King of SI, Matt Mosley of ESPN's Hashmarks, Dr. Z of SI, Jeremy Green of ESPN, Pete Prisco of CBS, among others in the blogosphere who basically ignored the Browns.

Is their success really that much of a surprise though? It sure as hell shouldn't be. Lets see...we have no. 3, 3, and 6 overall picks at key offensive positions. We brought in one of the best guards in the NFL and a former 2,000 yard rusher coming off a 1,000 yard season. The only question mark, be it a huge one, was the quarterback position, and we figured that one out nicely (by dumb luck, but we got it taken care of). There is no reason to think that with the collection of talent we had at the beginning of the year that we would be among the bottom quarter of the teams in terms of performance.

Meanwhile, some of the same prognosticators who called the Browns and Chiefs some of the worst teams in the league were calling the Rams, 49ers and in some cases the Jets as contenders. Um...looking at those teams, I saw nothing but regression (except for the Rams, who have been destroyed by injury, something nobody can see coming). Alex Smith lost his OC in Norv Turner and wasn't really good with him, in my eyes he is the least talented no. 1 overall pick in history. The top of that draft is one of the worst in history with only Ronnie Brown and Braylon showing signs that they could be the difference makers that warrant that high of a pick. Alex Smith? Franchise QB? Seriously?

The Jets were lucky to be in the playoffs last year. They had one of the easiest schedules in modern history, the only team who presented a challenge was the Pats. The Jets were bad last year, and this year they're easily the worst team in the league (just watch one of their games, and yes, they're worse than the Dolphins). Yet the Browns, Lions, Bucs, Chiefs, and Bills are all exceeding expectations. How could you not see this? A simple glimpse of the roster would tell you this.

Listen, I expect NFL writers to be more knowledgable than I am. Am I saying that I know more than these fuckers? Hardly, but at the same time, I don't slurp the Patriots at every opportunity and ignore every other team except the Colts and Cowboys. Yes, the Patriots are the story of the year, they're a historically great team and could go down as the best ever. But at the same time, there are other predictions you could have easily made if you bothered to check the shit out. Peter King is the worst one...I respect his writing and MMQB is a must read for me first thing Monday mornings.

So are the Browns a surprise? Eh, a little. But should we be surprised that a team with high draft picks at crucial positions would succeed? The Butch Davis era of draft ignorance might have conditioned us to expect the worst, really, Gerard Warren over Richard Seymour when you were saying it was gonna be Seymour the whole fucking time? Nevertheless, actual talent evaluation has injected the roster with guys who can actually play. This shouldn't be a surprise that when the team is healthy, they're good. Fuckin' A.

I realize this was a pretty poorly constructed diatribe, but I could give two shits less. As long as that Hashmarks asshole Mosley gets his head out of his ass and acknowledges a team outside of Texas I'll be able to sleep at night. I can still sleep at night, but, well...eh fuck that last sentence and fuck the Steelers.

Browns MVP: Offensive Line

What an awesome win. Finally, against a suitable opponent, granted they're overrated by being in a weak division, but none-the-less, a team that was in the Super Bowl two years ago and was considered by many to be a favorite to get there again this year. What a fantastic comeback on a day when the deep stuff wasn't working at the pace it normally does, thanks to a somewhat subdued Braylon Edwards, but smart playcalling and a HUGE performance by Lt. Winslow overcame whatever struggles were evident in the first part of the game.

Yes, Lt. Winslow rocked. Yes, Jamal Lewis had 4 touchdowns. Yes, DA had another solid game with only one pick and a bunch of yards (who would have had much better stats if there weren't so many drops). The real star of the game: the entire offensive line.

Seattle, if nothing, has a ridiculous pass rush, thanks to Julian Peterson and Daryl Tapp among others, but this group, even with DA throwing a little concerning 48 times, got exactly 0, zero, cero, sacks. Joe Thomas, if not for Adrian Peterson going all Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson on us, would be a serious contender for Rookie of the Year, anchored a textbook performance on pass blocking. Hank Fraley gave a lovely afternoon clinic about how to play center showing both savvy moves and brute pwnage and Eric Steinbach was downfield all day. Yes, we had some awesome performances by the skill guys, but none of it would have happened if DA wasn't clean and Jamal didn't have that goalline push.

The defense, yea, shaky. Definitely not ready to face a pure West Coast offense as Engram and Burleson were doing whatever they wanted. But getting picked apart by Matt Hasselbeck is hardly something to be ashamed of, he's been doing that for years, but take away the kick return TD and they only let up two TD's and two FG's, VERY respectable for a maligned defense going against said offense. Have to like Eric Wright in the 4th quarter deflecting that TD ball and Sean Jones laying wood all day but the defense was aided by a Shaun Alexander being a huge pussy and the offense controlling the ball for a good portion of the 2nd half.

All in all, competitive football makes a great afternoon. Would I have rather seen the Pats-Colts game? You know? After this afternoon, I really don't think I would have. The Browns beat a capable opponent in a great game that lacked nothing. Sure, it wasn't perfect, far from it, but to be able to gut out a win over a evenly-matched team is a great sign for the future, especially heading into the Ravens and Steelers in the coming weeks. Playoff teams aren't made by beating up on the 49ers and Jets, you have to be able to take care of good teams, and the Browns showed they're more than ready for that challenge.

Plus, seeing Browns Stadium rocking like that is one of the greatest sights in the NFL. As numerous people have said, "the NFL is better when the Cleveland Browns are good."

FUCK YEA.

Browns Bye Week: Offensive Review

Today is a wierd day. The Tribe lost in a pretty awful fashion so I'm basically avoiding all sorts of online media that would have a picture of Josh Beckett on the front page. I just don't want to relive that pain. However, I'm not really all that down, quite the contrary. We still have Fausto gunnin' tomorrow, that's always a good thing. Plus my beloved Brownies are playing some great football going into the bye week and I wanted to take a break from my baseball obsession to properly reflect on this success.

I'm going to break down the Offense and Return units in this section, and later today I'll do a post about the Defense and rest of the special teams.

Quarterback: Derek Anderson has been a surprise. A real fucking awesome surprise. Going into this season the only thing you could hear was, "Brady," the babyfaced 1st round pick which the hopes of the franchise sat. The chorus got louder as the preseason rolled along with Brady making a bunch of solid showings and making some great throws. Brady is obviously the future, but the present was left to the pu-pu platter of Charlie Frye and Derek Anderson. The opening game against Pittsburgh was rough, and it was clear to everyone (even Phil Savage, finally, fucking retard) that Charlie Frye is not an NFL quarterback. He can't make short or long throws and either holds the ball too long in the pocket, taking a sack, or bails on a play too soon and runs for a minimal gain.

Needless to say, the last 5 games have been a different story. It's amazing what a team with two top-10 draft pick playmakers can do with someone who can get them the ball quickly and that's the thing, DA is not a great QB by any stretch of the imagination but he gets the ball where it needs to be much faster. Despite shredding Miami's D, he's not overly accurate and tends to try and force things into tight spaces. Sometimes, like on Braylon's 2nd TD against Miami, it works, other times, like the Pats and Raiders games, it fails miserably. But those are mistakes I'm willing to accept for an aggressive gameplan that fits our team perfectly. DA has a cannon for an arm and the vertical stretch of the offense is really opening up the gameplan and it's really hard to stop. DA has been the surprise of the year and this could not be any better a situation for the Browns to be in moving forward. Grade: B+

Running Backs: Jamal Lewis has been nice, some good stuff, some frustrating stuff. Truth be told, I don't think he comes back next year (I think the Browns will go aggressively after Michael Turner from San Diego). However, he is the perfect back for this offense, a massive bruiser who defenses hate tackling. He's missed some time but after the Bye, I wouldn't be surprised to see Jamal run off a string of 100 yard games. The Browns are stretching the field and defenses aren't going to want to give up huge chunks of yards through the air and Jamal will have opportunities to make some plays. His game against Cincy was a thing of beauty and exemplifies this strategy, burn 'em deep, batter them later. Jason Wright is a solid backup and Jerome Harrison really played well against Miami so there's some optimism. Grade: C+

Recievers/TE's: Braylon and Lt. Winslow. Defenses are fucked. Braylon is turning into a hybrid of Plaxico Burress and Hines Ward, easily one of the top-5 WR's this year. Around the goal line, you're helpless, he can jump through the roof or just physically dominate and will the reception into his hands. Braylon is also one of the most dangerous deep threats in the game, his unreal speed for someone his size gives CB's nightmares. Even more important, he's opening up the field for Joe J. and even Tim Carter, evidenced by Joe getting a bunch of TD's this year and DA's incredible numbers.












K2 is easily the 2nd best TE in the game, I mean Antonio Gates is still the man, but honestly, K2 is in another realm. He's not going to be your Steve Heiden blocking and receptions in the flat TE, no, he's going to eviscerate the middle of the field. Safety help is one of the hardest things to plan for when facing the Browns now and K2 is benefiting from the confusion that Chud's gameplans are forcing on opponents. There isn't a better TE in the game running a seam pattern up the middle, splitting safeties in Cover 2 and just burning slower LB's and dominating smaller CB's. As important as Braylon is to the offense, its Kellen that makes it run. He is a mismatch all over the field, a bigger version of Anquan Boldin. After the catch, he is demonically nasty, looking for contact and just demanding the extra yards. All you need to know about how good Braylon and Lt. Winslow is in YPC. Braylon averages a lovely 19.0 ypc, definately upper tier but Lt. Winslow gets 17.4 ypc, for a tight end, on 29 catches. Read his numbers again. 29 catches for an average of 17.4 yards per reception. He plays TE. That is a historic number and it shows no signs of slowing down. When you have a TE who can do that, your offense is almost impossible to stop (if you have a QB who doesn't kill you with interceptions. I'm not knocking DA here, but with better decision making, the Browns would have beaten the Pats and Raiders). Grade: A

Offensive Line: Joe Thomas, you are my new favorite player. Eric Steinbach, I want to get hammered and drive your boat (drive boat? is that right?). The line is unreal this year, opening day nonewithstanding. When LeCharles comes back, we have depth and versatility with Tucker, LeCharles, and McKinney all being able to play mulitple positions along the line. With more time, DA has been able to find recievers and the runners have been able to get huge chunks of yards. This is easily the most improved unit on the field and it has been paying dividends all season long. With performances this good, the Browns have a chance to beat anyone and I can't remember the last time a Browns QB just sat in the pocket comfortably on the majority of offensive plays. This is a great thing to see. As awesome as Brady Quinn is, it's easy to forget that Joe Thomas was the marquee draft pick this year, and from the looks of it, he's going to be a perennial Pro Bowler for the next decade. His athleticism and technique leave nothing to be desired, and the more he learns how to play in the NFL, the better he'll get. Football Outsiders mentioned that while Adrian Peterson might be the best draft pick this year, later down the road, Joe Thomas looks like the guy who will be the best player. Grade: B+

Returners: This is really just for Josh Cribbs. The offense is explosive, yes, but what if we weren't starting every series past our own 35? A shorter field means it's easier to score, and Josh Cribbs is fucking tearing it up. Outside of Devin Hester, there isn't a better return man in the league, and just because Cribbs is no. 2, that's hardly a slight seeing as Hester looks like he'll go down as the greatest returner of all time. Cribbs routinely gives the offense a short field and it has been paying off all year. Teams are downright frightened by this guy. Josh is crazy, he just flies down the field at full speed, finding seams in the blocking and it must absolutely suck to try and tackle him. Fucking A. Grade: A

Overall Grade: A-

Possible Pro Bowlers: Joe Thomas, Kellen Winslow, Braylon Edwards, Derek Anderson, Josh Cribbs, Eric Steinbach

Biggest Surprise: Derek Anderson

Biggest Disappointment: Travis Wilson, you gotta come through at some point dude...

Offensive MVP: Kellen Winslow (case could be made for Joe Thomas, Braylon and DA)

Case of the Monday's: F-ck the National Media

Clevelanders have a Napoleonic complex, plain and simple. It doesn't help with the city itself being in the condition it's in, but at the same time, it runs deeper than that. It begins and ends with the sports teams. Granted, Cleveland is basically like every other Midwestern Great Lakes city, basically a smaller version of Chicago with a certain trait that separates it from its bretheren, but none of these cities have the mental issues that we have here. Think about Pittsburgh, their city is a pile of shit that makes Cleveland look like paradise, yet do they always complain about being the proverbial little brother to Philly and New York? No. Why is this? The mothefucking, goddamned, piece of shit, takes it in the ass from mental institutional prisoners Steelers. Same with Detroit and Indianapolis, and even Buffalo (ugh...) to a degree.

If Cleveland hadn't endured the Drive, the Fumble, MJ over Ehlo, MJ in general, Jose fucking Mesa, Tom fucking Glavine, 51-101, the Curse of '54, need I continue, would we have such a massive chip on our shoulders from being largely ignored by the national press? Fuck no. Yet, Sunday, the Browns annhilate a preseason Super Bowl contender and they don't get any mention at all by Peter King, AOL Sports, ESPN, Fox Sports, New York Times, USA Today or the majority of nationally viewed sports blogs. Save for a brief mention by Michael Silver of Yahoo sports and the Plain Dealer, it seems as if this game never happened. Is it because it's hard to swallow the pill of being so wrong? Is it because they didn't bring out the fireworks like they did against Cincy? Is it just shame in being so far off on your preseason prognostication?

Basically, fuck you national press. The Browns are a respectable team, unlike the 2nd worst like Peter King and so many other douchebags predicted. They eviscerated one of the top defenses in the NFL without even thinking about it. Rich Gannon said it best when the Browns weren’t running more no-huddle, “maybe they would if the game had been closer, but right now they don’t need to.” This was an ass-whooping, yet nobody noticed because of Brett Favre (rightly so) and the Giants (wha?).

It doesn't stop with the Browns though. The Indians are largely ignored because of the Yanks!! and the Sox!! despite the fact the Indians have a vastly superior team to both of them sans the star power. If the national media is just so eager to fellatiate the New York and Boston markets without looking at the teams objectively, why even consider yourselves media? You're a bunch of lucky white people who get to go on TV and talk. Steve Phillips, I'm talking to you because according to you, the Indians aren't even in the playoffs.

So basically, Cleveland is LeBron, which is fine. I'd rather have something than nothing. But when one of the only bright spots in this city is nationally predicted to be leaving ASAP, that's slapping the city in the face. The Browns are a good team this year. Any idiot who knows anything about football could see this (Football Outsiders, smart. Peter King, smart but still an idiot for thinking the Browns were worse than the Falcons and a host of other teams). It's a shame, but honestly, it will be all worth it and that time is coming quite soon. The Tribe are poised for a serious run for the next 4 years at least, the Browns look like they'll be contenders soon, the Cavs have the best player in the league and great ownership, and the Buckeyes are staying the course. Bridesmaids no longer, fuck all of you.

MDP's Monday McGirdIron

After watching the Browns beat that team from Baltimore (I refuse to say their name), there were a number of things that I noticed especially at the end of the game. First off, the overall mismatch problems that the Browns cause to any defense is far underrated. The combination of Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow, Joe Jurevicius, Jamal Lewis, and yes, Steve Heiden, the Browns can beat you in many different ways. So take this as a warning NFL, the Browns are progressing. Everyone has one game where they are like "oops" and that is what that Pittsburgh game was.

Look at it this way, usually in every Browns game there are stupid penalties, dumb challenges, poor decisions from the quarterback position, a deficit to overcome, and lack of excitement. Oh wait, you mean I just described a team that was 13-3 last year? That team from Baltimore was outplayed and was unable to dig themselves out of an early hole. Sure they got behind early and that forces any team to abandon the running game, but lets be honest the Browns have given up like 180 yards a game this year on the ground. Basically [I run the business side of a small medical research company] the Browns actually played like they desreved to win the game. The defense played the bend, but don't break style fairly well. Now granted, going to the prevent in the third quarter isn't a great way to solidify a win, but hey whatever gets the job done, right? Go Browns.

Oh by the way, the Browns are 2-2 (2-1) and in second place in the toughest division in football, the AFC North. I'm a solider!

Bernie, Bernie, Oh Baby! We Gotta Go Now... TO THE SUPER BOWL

So... I’m a Clevelander for life. I just wanted that to be known before anyone proceeds any further in reading this post... So today is Sunday September, 23, 2007, and I was just in my car, on my way back to my apartment, when I heard a couple days old interview with none other than the Captain Brown himself, Bernie Kosar (it was on the ESPN radio show of Mark “Munch” Bishop, the best there is). Seriously Bernie, get it back in gear man. He was hammered drunk. It was more obvious than a homeless person in C-Town being addicted to crack, just a given.

Bernie, dude, I love you man. It is your work that has basically [I run the business side of a small medical research company] molded me into the Browns fan that I am today. Granted, a lot of that work was filled with letdown, but it’s that letdown that unites Browns fans everywhere. We start every year saying “this is going to be the year that we forget the drive and the fumble”. That’s the pinnacle of the Browns past for me, almost getting there. It’s that almost getting there, Bernie, which has shaped the way I think about sports in general. That’s how I get excited at the beginning of training camp every year. Especially with the draft that them Brownies had this past year (#3 Joe Thomas, #22 Brady Quinn, #53 Eric Wright), a guy gets excited, ya know?

So in lieu of hearing your befuddlery on the radio today, I decided to Google you… And then I found this.I did not realize the controversy that you caused coming out of college, Bernie. And it was after reading that, that I realized how much you mean to the city of Cleveland, and to the Cleveland Browns as an organization. You got to choose what team you would start your NFL career off with, and you choose the Browns. That’s awesome. You’re from the Boardman area and were a big time High School player in like 1981, you were a Heisman caliber quarterback, and you chose the Browns. That means something to a guy, who devotes at least 15 hours a week (including Sunday games) to this team. Now granted I was 2 or 3 years old when you arrived back in town as a Brown, but you played in Cleveland until 1993, and its that entire Cleveland career that really was special (even to someone who doesn’t really remember the experience, but the memory).

So then in the process of just basking in your old school glory, I stumbled upon this. It’s your MySpace page. Dude, I don’t even have a MySpace page, but the first thought that I had was “Oh dear Lord, Bernie probably gets laid because of this site”. And it’s probably true, but then I thought “Way to go Bernie, way to go”.

I know you are going through a rugged divorce right now, but for the fans, please get it together. Party it up all night, but if you agree to make an appearance with the Browns, try to keep it together. You actually are a very insightful color commentary personality, but its when you slur your words and stutter that just make me laugh out of sorrow.

Finally, I want to tell a short story about the man, the myth, the legend, Bernie. A coworker of mine is an equipment manager for the Browns, on the side. During a pre-season game in Cleveland, he told me a story about you and your relationship with estranged Browns QB, Charlie Frye. You were standing with Charlie in the tunnel about to enter the field to start the game. You were casually dressed in a pair of dock shoes, with no socks, a pair of tapered jeans, with no socks, a half un-buttoned, button down shirt, with no undershirt beneath, a sport coat over the top of it all, and the sleeves of the sport coat rolled up. Way to class it up, Miami Vice style, but not only what you were wearing makes the story great. It’s that you were talking to Charlie Frye in this unclear, redneck mutter that no one could understand. Another reason why you are one of the greatest quarterbacks ever, you talk in a way that no one but certain people can understand, so when guys like Bill Belichick try to steal plays, they will never know what you are talking about. Keep at ‘em Bernie.